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Does your college town suck? Eastern Michigan University

Ypsilanti...? How the hell do you say that?

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New to the line up this season: we will be examining the various college towns of Wisconsin’s opponents. We’ll be answering all of the important questions – Is it a state capital? What is the population? Does it have a Culver’s?


City: Ypsilanti, Mich.

Size: 4.51 square miles

Location: 42°14′34″N 83°37′06″W

Population: 20,828 (2019)

State Capital? No

Time zone: Eastern

Landmarks: Michigan Firehouse Museum, Ypsilanti Automotive Heritage Museum


Ypsilanti (ip-suh-lan-tee), which is located just outside of Ann Arbor, Mich. is commonly shortened to ‘Ypsi.’ It is located in Washtenaw County. The city was originally established as a trading post in 1809 by a French-Canadian fur trader from Montreal.

A permanent settlement was established along the east side of the Huron River in 1823 by Major Thomas Woodruff. The settlement was named Woodruff’s Grove. Ypsilanti was later established along the west side of the river in 1825. Four years later Woodruff’s Grove merged with Ypsilanti to become one community.

Ypsilanti gets its name from Demetrios Ypsilanti, who was a hero of the Greek War of Independence. Ypsilanti won the war for Greek Independence the year the two towns merged.

Dude won a war, Giannis won an NBA Title. Greeks be doing big time stuff. Oh, and their yogurt is delicious.

NBA: NBA Champions-Milwaukee Bucks Victory Parade Kamil Krzaczynski-USA TODAY Sports

A statue of Ypsilanti sits at the base of the Ypsilanti Water Tower.

OK, but why does it look like...that?

Eastern Michigan’s campus is 800 acres in size and is comprised of 122 buildings. Based on images of campus, it looks like the campus is located in the middle a quaint, small, Midwestern town.

However, Midwestern towns still have their troubles that usually reveal themselves in the form of statistics...

In 2019, EMU reported 165 safety-related incidents involving students on, or near, campus. Of the 3,990 schools that reported crime and safety data, 3,532 reported fewer incidents.

Of the incidents reported, 54.8 percent were for disciplinary actions related to possession of contraband, while 15.2 percent were for crimes against women and 33.3 percent were related to major crimes.



Shouout to Yelp, who came up with a list of the 10 best bars in Ypsilanti.

The highest rated bar in Ypsilanti is Wax Bar, which is kind of ironic, since the town was originally established by a fur trader…but anyways…Wax Bar is a record-themed bar, whose menu is dominated by an assortment of mixed drinks.

Upon looking over the menu, the drink that sticks out to me the most based just off the name is Marsha’s Dead Parrot. It’s a mixture of aquavit, gin, coconut, blue curacao, maraschino and lemon.

They have a special section of the menu set aside for ‘Dad Beers,’ which included Miller High Life, Stroh’s Classic, PBR and Modelo Especial. It is worth noting however, that while Wax Bar has a five star rating on Yelp, it does only have nine reviews.

Bellflower is another establishment that has five stars, but with 66 reviews.

The Wurst Bar, checks in as the third best on the list, but according to the review, it has the ‘wurst service,’ which is a sausage bun, excuse me, pun.

If you are wondering, which I am sure you are… Ypsilanti does not have a Culver’s, but there is one nearby in Belleville, Mich.


Rynearson Stadium, the home of the Eastern Michigan Eagles football team and track teams. The stadium holds 30,200 people, but can expand for larger crowds. Rynearson opened in 1969 and is named after Elton J. Rynearson, who was a former coach of the team for 26 seasons.

The Factory, which is the nickname for the stadium, originated in 2014, by head coach Chris Creighton. The Factory nickname came about as the stadium is the place where coaches and staff will go to work each day to make the students ‘E Tough,’ which is the commitment to great effort, sacrifice and triumphing in the face of adversity

One notable thing to may notice from the image, is that The Factory features a gray field, which is the only of its kind in the NCAA.

Does your college town suck?

First, the name...Ypsilanti? The hell?

Second, the phallic Water Tower?

Those two points aside, Ypsilanti doesn’t seem to suck too much, as it’s a nice quaint college town. However, its criminal incident reports reveal the dangerous truth. With 3,532 schools reporting fewer incidents, only one conclusion can be drawn with absolute certainty.

You will die there.