I built my love a menstrual hut.
I built it out of clay.
With earthen halls and wattled walls.
I built it far away.
That I might have some solitude
When roses blush her cheeks.
Away, my love! Get thee to hut,
And stay you for a week.
And stay awhile, till calm returns,
That I won’t have to bear
Thy grinding voice, and hissing tongue
That claws my inner ear.
For I’ve got work to do, you know,
And I can’t keep my head.
My love she bursts in tears and
Flings herself upon the bed.
And, oh, what stench, my bleeding one!
‘Tis like a stagnant fen.
The air declares "Lake Netherclam
Hath turned itself again."
The dogs have gathered at the door.
They think I’ve slain a lamb.
The vultures fix their baleful eyes
Upon her wounded clam.
They think I’m making dinner,
For the stench hangs thick and strong.
And if I had a bouillon cube,
They wouldn’t be far wrong.
So low her lips, they leave a trail
As from a pilgrim slug.
Yet must she drag her meat-flaps
‘cross my oriental rug?
With panties at her ankles ,
My love shuffles ‘cross the room.
It’s "Boo-hoo-hoo" and "Nag! Nag! Nag!"
Each time she’s on her moon.
Almighty Christ, her voice is shrill,
Like nails against a slate,
And I can’t find a quiet place
To go and rake the gate.
Don’t ask her for a reach-around,
She’ll beat thee with a rock.
I s’pose I’m to apologize
Because I have a cock.
But I need flesh! Yet so much blood,
Tis more than I can take.
If blood were what I wanted, hell,
I’d fuck an uncooked steak.
So out! To fling thy changing moods
And wring thine anxious hands!
Go hence to burn thy dinner, too,
And nag some other man.
Aye, hie thee to that sodden hut,
To wail without surcease.
Sweet menstrual hut! I built thee well.
At last I’ll have my peace.