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Does your college town suck? Ohio State University

THE University of Wisconsin Marching Band is better.

New to the line up this season: we will be examining the various college towns of Wisconsin’s opponents. We’ll be answering all of the important questions – Is it a state capital? What is the population? Does it have a Culver’s?


City: Columbus, Ohio

Size: 225.97 square miles

Location: 39°57′44″N 83°00′02″W

Population: 905,748 (2020)

State Capital? Yes

Time zone: Eastern

Landmarks: World’s Largest Gavel, Statue of Arnold Schwarzenegger, Franklin Park Conservatory and Botanical Gardens, German Village


Columbus, the state capital of Ohio is the 14th-most populous city in the United States and the third-most populous state capital.

So what makes it so great? Maybe it’s the World’s Largest Gavel?

Maybe...maybe not.

Columbus was planned in 1812 as a political center by the Ohio legislature and was named after you guessed it, Christopher Columbus.

The Ohio state government moved to the city in 1816 and Columbus later absorbed Franklinton, which was founded in 1797, giving it the strength of a city and a little settlement.

Columbus saw a real boom to it’s growth with a branch of the Ohio an Erie Canal opened to it in 1831, the Cumberland Road from Maryland reached it in 1836 and when the railroad arrived in 1850.

By 1900, the population exceeded 125,000 and Columbus emerged as an important transportation and commercial center. Forty years later more economic growth occurred when a large airplane plan was established and caused more companies to way to come to town.

From 1950 - 2000 the city’s land area increased fivefold and the population nearly doubled.

When looking for some dirt on Columbus, it all sounds very nice. There is the Columbus Zoo and Aquarium, Botanical Gardens, Columbus Museum of Art, COSI (Center of Science and Industry) and plenty of parks and sports teams.

However, I was able to find a Columbus Sucks facebook page.

The page highlighted nine reasons why Columbus sucks.

  1. The city has no character. It’s a planned city plotted in the middle of nowhere designed to be in the middle of Ohio. It exists solely because it couldn’t be decided whether to favor Cleveland or Cincinnati. Essentially, Columbus exists to serve the two real cities.
  2. No useful body of water (the pathetic Scioto doesn’t count)
  3. It’s a bunch of strip malls full of chains that people think are unique.
  4. The city has little to no metropolitan area (WTF is Gahanna?)
  5. Columbus has very few famous, notable, and important people to come from it especially considering the size of the city. Many smaller cities in Ohio have many more notable residents.
  6. Its reputation is being “The Average City.” It’s the capital of what many call the most average state in America because of its many different facets.
  7. The State Fair sucks and is no better than any other fair I’ve been to.
  8. I know some people think Columbus is the largest city in Ohio. It kind of is because it did annex surrounding land. A metropolitan area is the real measure of a city though, and Columbus has about 1.75 million people. Northeast Ohio has over 3 million people and the Cincinnati area has over 2 million people.
  9. There is basically no reason to visit Columbus other than if you are forced to go there.

I mean, this list is quite eye opening. No character? How does the largest city in Ohio have no character? And no useful body of water? I mean, Madison has two lakes that are very usable.

And a bad State Fair? How dare they?!?!

Also, I can attest to No. 9. When I was a child I visited Columbus and I had no choice in the matter. I was forced to go by my parents.


This picture from the Experience Columbus web site is so clearly staged. No way anyone is having that much fun at a bar in Ohio.

Of all of the college bars that I looked into, it looks like the most recommended is the Original Varsity Club. The bar is located 500 yards from Ohio Stadium and according to their site, it is the ideal location for pre-game and post-game festivities.

They have 15 televisions inside and five on their patio and not to mention, a jumbotron in the back parking lot.

Another local watering hole that stood out is The Library Bar. According to a blog I found about the five best bars on campus, it is a staple of OSU nightlife and is known for their low-priced pitchers and delicious drinks. It’s also a great stop for those on a budget, or looking for a low-key experience.

Most importantly, Columbus does have a Culver’s. Though only one, so I can imagine the drive thru line is bonkers.


Value City Arena at The Jerome Schottenstein Center is the home of the Ohio State Buckeyes basketball team.

They’re joking...? That cannot seriously be the name, right?

The arena is a multi-purpose arena that houses basketball, hockey and concerts. The venue is the biggest in the Big Ten and seats 17,500 for hockey, 19,500 for basketball and about 20,000 for concerts.

OSU broke ground for the facility in 1996 hosted it’s first event, a men’s basketball game on Nov. 3, 2008. Fun fact, 3,888 cement trucks made their way to the building site, to complete the 770,000 square foot building.

Apparently Ohio State loves contributing to global warming. Think of the emissions of nearly 4,000 cement trucks...the carbon footprint...woof...

Does your college town suck?

Well, when someone makes a Facebook page dedicated to how much you suck, there is no way avoiding the fact that, you suck.

Oh and just say Ohio State University, there is no reason to say The Ohio State University, especially with so much emphasis on ‘THE.’

It’s pretentious as hell. Stop it.

Oh and lastly, ‘dotting the I,’ isn’t that impressive. It’s literally just one person walking further away from a line and you people lose your shit over it, every damn time.