Hey, Big Ten presidents and chancellors:
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? HAVE YOU EVER MADE A GOD DAMNED DECISION IN YOUR ENTIRE GOD DAMNED LIVES?!?! JESUS TAPDANCING CHRIST! I DON’T EVEN CARE ANYMORE WHAT DECISION YOU MAKE...JUST MAKE ONE! FUCK!
I MEAN, YOU ALL HAVE IMPORTANT JOBS THAT REQUIRE DECISIONS TO BE MADE, PRESUMABLY, EVERY DAY AND YET HERE WE ARE WAITING AGAIN FOR YOUR SUDDENLY INCREDIBLY INDECISIVE ASSES TO PICK ONE OF TWO OPTIONS! YOU SPENT ALL SPRING AND SUMMER DOING NOT A GOD DAMNED THING DESPITE THE PANDEMIC THAT WAS DEVASTATING THE UNITED STATES SINCE MARCH CAUSED BASICALLY EVERYTHING TO BE SHUT DOWN!
NOW YOU’RE JUST GOING TO LET LEAKERS AND GRIFTERS CONTROL THE NARRATIVE AS YOU TRY AND FIGURE OUT A SAFE WAY TO PLAY THIS FALL?!?! AND THEN THERE IS THAT IDIOT FROM NEBRASKA SPOUTING OFF IN FRONT OF A HOT MIC ABOUT HOW THE ANNOUNCEMENT WAS COMING ON TUESDAY NIGHT?!? CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT SHIT????
JUST TELL US ONE WAY OR THE OTHER! I DON’T CARE ANYMORE! I JUST WANT TO KNOW SO I CAN MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE!
(For the record, I don’t think that the Big Ten changing their mind is wrong. Once new facts and information becomes available it is perfectly reasonable to change one’s mind. What is the most annoying, insufferable, downright grating part is the constant stream of leaks and sources and “texts from coaches” and whoever the fuck Sir Yacht is that muddy the waters and make it nigh impossible for this to come to a satisfying conclusion.
Just make a decision. Announce that it was unanimous and let’s get on with our lives. The players and coaches don’t deserve this. I’m sure the school chancellors and presidents have other pressing matters to attend to since many of their schools can not safely host classes currently. The fans like us, who are already mostly insufferable, also want an end to this just so we can stop shouting about it all damn day on the hell bird app.
Just make a decision.