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Oh Honey, No…a Bucky’s 5th Quarter Fashion Blog: University of Minnesota

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No.

Iowa v Minnesota Photo by Hannah Foslien/Getty Images

Well kids, it happened again. Darkness has fallen upon us once again.

Minnesota’s having a COVID surge and because of it, we will not see Wisconsin and Minnesota take the field this weekend.

Obviously, we hope all of the Ground Squirrels have a speedy recovery and hope they can continue playing the sport they love. It’s also terrible, because this could have been a great rivalry game and this will be the first time the Badgers and Gophers haven’t played in a season since 1906.

However, at least we don’t have to look at those God awful jerseys.

As a reminder, we will be rating the opposing threads on a scale of oh honey, no, to YAASS QUEEN.

Oh honey, no: Obviously, this is the worst rating. If I must explain this to you, you’re probably wearing socks with sandals right now, or a brown belt with black pants, either way, oh honey, no.

Ewww: Nice try, but no.

Werk it: You brought it.

YAASS QUEEN: Best of the best. Your proverbial milkshake brings all the proverbial boys to the yard.

School: University of Minnesota

Mascot: Ground Squirrels... OK, FINE. Golden Gophers.

Color Scheme: Maroon and Gold

Official Brand Sponsor: Nike

Helmets:

Iowa v Minnesota Photo by Hannah Foslien/Getty Images

Minnesota wears a couple of different lids on Saturdays, or Thursday and Fridays nights... (I heard they hate playing those nights).

The Gophers have a maroon helmet with their ‘M’ logo in gold and a face mask that varies in colors; sometimes gold, sometimes maroon.

They also wear a white helmet, with a maroon ‘M’ and a maroon face mask.

If you liked the last two, you’ll like their gold helmet, with a maroon ‘M’ with a maroon face mask.

All three feature a line down the center of the helmet, with ‘Ski-U-Mah,’ which is likely just gibberish.

In 1884 John Adams, the school’s rugby captain had heard some Sioux tribe members yell “Ski-yoo!” when they won canoe races on Lake Minnetonka and he incorrectly interpreted the phrase as a Sioux victory cry.

A co-captain of the rugby team added the ‘mah,’ to the chant, which has been used to cheer on Minnesota athletics ever since and has even been included in some University songs.

However, Dakota-Lakota specialists say that “Ski-U,” is not a victory cry, or a Sioux word for winning. In fact what he may have heard on the lake that day was an audible interjection, similar to “woo hoo.”

One could surmise that Minnesota’s battle cry is basically that of a “woo girl.”

Surprisingly to no one, the line down the center of the helmet, is actually the handle of an oar, with the paddle portion of the oar, further back on the helmet.

Minnesota also has a gold metallic helmet, with a maroon ‘M’ and a matching gold face mask. Personally, I just feel like this helmet is them trying too hard. Trying too hard to be flashy. Trying too hard to stand out.

Honestly, unless you’re Western Kentucky, DO NOT wear a metallic helmet.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL: OCT 19 Charlotte at Western Kentucky Photo by Steve Roberts/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

Minnesota has even experimented with helmets, featuring Goldy, the school’s mascot.

The freshest of their helmets was worn first in 2017, which was a white helmet, with a grey face mask and a maroon Goldy head outline.

Minnesota also has a gold version, that is also sick. I love how the line on the helmet, doubles as Goldy’s tail.

Helmet Scores:

White, Maroon and Gold: Ewww

Gold metallic helmet: Oh honey, no.

Gold Goldy helmet: Oh honey, no.

White Goldy helmet: Werk it.

Uniforms:

Minnesota released three uniforms in 2018 and they have stuck around the last couple of seasons.

A maroon uniform with a white collar and white numbers/letters outlined in gold, which is primarily worn at home. An anthracite inform, with a white collar, white numbers/letters, outlined in gold.

On the road, Minnesota features a white uniform with a maroon collar and a maroon numbers/letters, outlined in gold.

This season, Minnesota has been wearing a new uniform that falls in line with the others released in 2018. This one is gold with maroon numbers. However, this one features an important message on it, ‘End Racism.’

The phrase takes the place of the player’s last names on the uniforms. This is a message of unification. A message of hope. A message that I think we as a nation needs to see and hear at this point in our country’s history and I applaud Minnesota from inscribing the message on their uniforms.

Not to mention, the uniform is is sick looking. I like when school’s step away from their norm and use a color for their uniform that isn’t seen very often.

Minnesota has also worn these uniforms in the past, but instead of including last names, every player wore ‘Minnesota’ across the back of their uniform.

However, I cannot get behind Minnesota pairing its gold uniform with gold pants and a golf helmet. It only works when it’s paired with maroon pants and a helmet. When doing this, the uniform acts as more of an accent, balancing out the helmet and pants.

Getty Images

Don’t they know bees are attracted to yellow?

They have also worn maroon uniforms, with ‘Golden Gophers,’ across the back.

I feel like all of these unifying statements are P.J. Fleck’s doing, which makes sense. The guy is a walking gimmick. Everything is something with him. From Row the Boat, to all wearing the same name across the back of their uniforms.

Anyway... Minnesota pairs their uniforms with a number of different color pants: maroon, white, gold and anthracite.

Along with everything else Minnesota does, I feel like they are just trying too hard. Especially with their anthracite uniforms. A bunch of school’s got the idea to throw an anthracite uniform into the mix and it’s never a good idea.

First and foremost, t’s not one of your school colors, it’s just a random neutral color that kind of goes with just about every color, so it’s a safe bet that the color scheme won’t look absolutely awful, but it just never hits, quite right.

With so many options they are becoming a poor-man’s Midwestern Oregon. However, it should not surprise me that they are becoming a bit much...look at their coach.

Uniform Scores:

White uniform: Ewww

Maroon uniform: Ewww

Anthracite: Oh honey, no.

Gold uniform with maroon pants and helmet: Werk it.

Gold uniform with gold pants and helmet: Ewww

Undoubtedly the fact that I gave a passable grade to one of their uniforms is going to wind up on a ring at some point... good luck featuring that, Jostens.