Oh Honey, No...a Bucky’s 5th Quarter Fashion Blog: University of Illinois

Welcome my fellow fashionistas! Looking for the freshest fit? The dopest drip? Well, you have come to the right place.

On a weekly basis, we will be looking at Bucky’s opposition and what they will be wearing. We’ll see if they can make it work, as Tim Gunn famously says, or if they’re nothing but a faux pas.

Gone are the days of Why Your Mascot Sucks (RIP), but only because we have already rated all of Wisconsin’s opponents mascots for the 2020 season.

However, I am not ruling out a return of mascot reviews at some point in the future. (That’s foreshadowing.)

Now you may be wondering about me, why are you qualified to write a fashion blog? What makes you think you can tackle such a feat? How will you sniff out all of the dos and don’ts of high fashion?

Well, I thumbed through a Vogue magazine once in a waiting room and apparently in the world of free blogs, they don’t check your credentials too closely when it comes to #content.

Now every good fashion blog has a ratings scale, I would know, I am now writing my first one. This season, we will be rating the opposing threads on scale of Oh honey, no, to YAASS QUEEN.

Here is a breakdown of what each of the ratings means.

Oh honey, no: Obviously, this is the worst rating. If I must explain this to you, you’re probably wearing socks with sandals right now, or a brown belt with black pants, either way, oh honey, no.

Ewww: Nice try, but no.

Werk it: You brought it.

YAASS QUEEN: Best of the best. Your proverbial milkshake brings all the proverbial boys to the yard.

Now that we have gotten all of that out of the way, bring on the poorly dressed, so that we may look down on them!

School: University of Illinois

Mascot: Fighting Illini

Color Scheme: Orange and Blue

Official Brand Sponsor: NIke

Helmets:

Illinois features three different helmets that they pair with their uniforms. They wear an orange helmet with a Blue ‘I’ and blue facemask, a white helmet with an orange “I” and a white or blue facemask and lastly, a blue helmet with a silver ‘I’ and a blue facemask.

Their blue helmets are primarily only matched with their gray uniforms. Illinois wore this combination last season when they beat…you know, we’re not going talk about that *happy thoughts*.

While, their white and orange helmets are worn with any number of uniform combinations.

Helmet Scores:

White helmets: Werk It

Orange Helmets: Ewww

Blue Helmets: Ewww

Uniforms:

Illinois released its current stable of uniforms in 2018. They have an orange uniform, which has blue numbers, letters and accents, a white uniform and a blue uniform, which both feature orange numbers and letters. Lastly, they have the aforementioned gray uniform, which has blue numbers, letters and accents.

The numbers and letters on the uniforms are more a modern adaptation from the block letters of the past (block letters are so last season).

Illinois pairs either orange, white or blue pants with their orange, white and blue uniforms, but their gray uniform is only matched with gray pants.

The Illini have been known to mix things up a bit at times when it comes to their uniform combinations, such as wearing white helmets, orange jerseys, white pants, or orange helmets, white jersey, orange pants.

With all of the jersey combinations Illinois has, they have so many options to choose from and I personally am a fan of them using a mixture of colors and having some fun with it. Because life is too short to look drab.

My personal favorite is the white helmet, white uniform and blue pants.

The white helmet and white uniforms on their own are just alright, but I think what really sets this uniform combination apart is the addition of the blue pants, which really acts as an accent to the other two pieces, sort of the way that an accent wall in a room would.

The white helmet really completes any look that the Illini choose to roll out.

For instance, in the 2019 Red Box Bowl. Illinois wore orange pants, an orange jersey and white helmets. Had they gone with orange helmets, it wouldn’t have worked, but by adding the white helmets, it really made the combination work.

Photo by Bob Kupbens/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

My only suggestion would have been to go with a blue facemask, which would have matched the accents on their jersey more and would have brought the look together.

However, they do have a couple of options that are less than appealing in my professional opinion…and you should trust me, remember that I once thumbed through Vogue?

First off, I am not a fan of the Gray Ghost uniforms and not just because it conjures of bad memories, but it’s just kind of drab… It just doesn’t pop, like their other uniform combinations do.

Also, two words…tramp stamp.

It didn’t belong on my middle-aged boss in high school and it doesn’t belong on your pants.

The other uniform combinations that I am not particularly of are the solid uniform combinations.

All orange is just too much, all blue with an orange helmet is just not enough and all white is just meh.

Uniform Scores:

Uniform with a combination of colors: Werk it.

White helmet, white uniform and blue pants: YAAS QUEEN

Solid color combinations: Ewww

Gray Ghost uniform: Oh honey, no.

Tune in Friday night to see what Illinois will dare to wear to Camp Randall.