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The B1G Roast: Michigan State edition

The Spartans are probably my least favorite B1G basketball team of all time.

NCAA Basketball: Minnesota at Michigan State Mike Carter-USA TODAY Sports

Ever since my freshman year of college, which was 17 years ago holy shit, I have hated Michigan State basketball with a passion. The Badgers played the Spartans three times in the 2003-04 season and actually won all of them, which is neat, so that isn’t the reason for my disdain of MSU.

What happened during the second meeting between the two teams is seared into my memory forever. MSU sophomore center Paul Davis, the team’s leading scorer and rebounder, got some sort of leg injury. Now, I do not remember what it was, but I don’t remember it being serious because he stayed on the bench. I know this because the ESPN broadcast spent minute after minute zoomed in on Davis’ creamy white thigh while discussing whatever it was that happened to him. I’m pretty sure we missed game action because the cameras were trying to make sure that we were able to see every hair follicle on Davis’ leg.

Anyways, the Badgers went on to win in OT and finish second in a down B1G that year. They also won the B1G Tournament, but then got a 6-seed in the NCAA Tournament and lost to 3-seed Pitt in the second round. I guess the games were in Milwaukee, but whatever...Badgers still got jobbed.

What made this whole MSU hatred a more visceral thing was one dude on our floor freshman year, a dude I ended up rooming with for three years, was from right outside East Lansing and both of his parents worked for MSU and despite choosing to come to Wisconsin he still cheered for the Spartans when they played the Badgers.

That dude sucked.

(All KenPom rankings are accurate as of 1/16/20)

Michigan State Spartans Rankings: 6th overall, 7th offense, 30th defense

Notable Wins: at Seton Hall (11th overall KenPom), Rutgers (28th overall KenPom), Illinois (30th overall KenPom), Michigan (20th overall KenPom), Minnestoa (32nd overall KenPom)

Hilarious Losses: None, technically, but their last game was a 29-point loss at Purdue (17th overall KenPom) which is pretty hilarious. They also lost to Kentucky (22nd overall KenPom) who has lost to Evansville (261st overall KenPom), Utah (112th overall KenPom) and South Carolina (102nd overall KenPom).

Record: 13-4 overall, 5-1 Big Ten

Biggest Strengths: I know this has nothing to do with basketball, but it is important to note nonetheless.

And while you think this next tweet may also be referring to the football team’s offense, it is in fact talking about playing at Purdue in basketball which does, in fact, suck!


When do they play Wisconsin?: Friday, Jan. 17th, 6 p.m. CT, FS1, Breslin Center, East Lansing, Michigan

Wisconsin Badgers Rankings: 21st overall, 42nd offense, 23rd defense

Notable Wins: Marquette (33rd overall KenPom), Indiana (40th overall KenPom), at Ohio State (9th overall KenPom), at Penn State (37th overall KenPom), Maryland (13th overall KenPom)

Hilarious Losses: New Mexico (110th overall KenPom)

Record: 11-6 overall, 4-2 Big Ten

Biggest Strengths: I’m hoping everyone is caught up with what we are going to be calling Micah Potter for the rest of the season. If

I have never been so angered and pleased with a nickname all at the same time. And if Potter keeps coming in, scoring more than a point per minute while letting all of his defensive responsibilities fall by the’ll be a pretty apt nickname.

Biggest Weaknesses: I wonder how many coaches have felt like this after playing Wisconsin over the past two decades?

I know I’ve felt this way as a fan many, many times over my nearly three decades of Wisconsin basketball watching. They can be a brutal team to watch for fans of aesthetically pleasing basketball, but you cannot argue with the results or the effort it takes to shut out a team for nearly eight minutes.

Who do they play this week?: Well, they already beat Maryland, which was amazing, and now they travel to Michigan State. Literally this whole blog has been about attention.

Good dogs imo.

Can any lip readers out there tell me if Daniel Oturu used any non-curse words in this exchange with Lamar Stevens lmaoooo?


The world needs an Eagles/Bills Super Bowl just so all of these maniacs can be in the same place at the same time. It would be gold, Jerry, GOLD!