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I started writing this exactly one hour before the first B1G bowl game starts. Can I publish it before Michigan State kicks off against Wake Forest? With both of my children asleep and my wife busy the odds are...kind of in my favor!
LET’S DO THIS!
Illinois Fighting Illini
S&P+ rank: Overall 12th, Offense 10th, Defense 15th, Special Teams 87th
Bowl game: Redbox Bowl, Santa Clara, California; Monday, Dec. 30th; 3:00 p.m. CT, FOX
Opponent: Cal State
Biggest strength: Having their team name correctly printed on the bowl t-shirt.
Really glad #Cal is going bowling but goodness, the #RedboxBowl has to get the school name right. "Cal State?" Uh, no. ♂️ #GoBears pic.twitter.com/X8xeJ4XpBk
— Mike Rice (@MRiceKOA) December 10, 2019
Biggest weakness: I think we, as Wisconsin fans, need to apologize for gassing up Lovie Smith and the Illini like this.
Lovie Smith: Illinois has caught the rest of the Big Ten West https://t.co/9dX9UyZ0tW pic.twitter.com/WB4kclHhKl
— CollegeFootballTalk (@CFTalk) December 22, 2019
WHAT AN OUTRAGEOUS THING TO SAY!! He beats one ranked team and all of the sudden Illinois has “caught up” to the rest of the division? The division isn’t even that good and Illinois is STILL the worst team in it. Congratulations on catching up to Purdue this year, Lovie, you’ve really made it.
Indiana Hoosiers
S&P+ rank: Overall 12th, Offense 10th, Defense 15th, Special Teams 87th
Bowl game: Taxslayer Gator Bowl, Jacksonville, Florida; Thursday, Jan. 2nd; 6:00 p.m. CT, ESPN
Opponent: Tennessee
Biggest strength: The goons over at Crimson Quarry are really good at messing with people online.
hot tip: if you’re thinking about engaging with tennessee fans online
— the eight win havers (@crimsonquarry) December 8, 2019
don’t
They had a really fun time with #VolTwitter.
Biggest weakness: Look at these asshats.
Incredibly cursed exchange. pic.twitter.com/lUTpD54O9P
— several people are typing (@VT_Ben) December 11, 2019
Indiana fans won’t be troops but Tennessee fans will? I don’t really know.
https://t.co/Xv2PqHDwWe pic.twitter.com/dfYnW4rmqT
— the eight win havers (@crimsonquarry) December 9, 2019
Hopefully their basketball fans are better.
Iowa Hawkeyes
S&P+ rank: Overall 12th, Offense 10th, Defense 15th, Special Teams 87th
Bowl game: San Diego County Credit Union Holiday Bowl San Diego, California; Friday, Dec. 27th; 7:00 p.m. CT, FS1
Opponent: No. 22 Southern Cal
Biggest strength: I see nothing wrong with this plan. Go Hawks!
So we're all agreed that if Ihmir Smith-Marsette returns the opening kickoff for a TD tonight that we're just going to stop watching the game at that point and declare Iowa the winner, right?
— Go Hayden Fry Awesome (@IowaAwesome) December 27, 2019
Biggest weakness: A Holiday Bowl win will really cement Kirk Ferentz’s legacy as one of the guys that has coached Iowa in football.
Kirk Ferentz can finish 2019 with his 6th 10+ win season at Iowa and ranked in the final AP Top 25 for the 2nd year in a row and 8th in his tenure with a win tonight.
— PlannedSickDays (@PlannedSickDays) December 27, 2019
Michigan Wolverines
S&P+ rank: Overall 12th, Offense 10th, Defense 15th, Special Teams 87th
Bowl game: VRBO Citrus Bowl, Orlando, Florida; Wednesday, Jan. 1st; 12:00 p.m. CT, ABC
Opponent: No. 13 Alabama
Biggest strength: Are Jim Harbaugh’s khakis “world famous?” Like, if I went to Mexico and asked someone what was Michigan’s head football coach famous for...they would know the answer?
Jim Harbaugh wearing his world famous khakis as Michigan preps to play Alabama in Orlando.
— Alabama Crimson Tide | AL.com (@aldotcomTide) December 27, 2019
via @chengelis
pic.twitter.com/647xYL14Ry
I’m a bit skeptical on how wide-reaching Harbaugh’s khakis really are, but I guess I’ve never asked someone from a foreign country about them before so what do I know?
Biggest weakness: Those of us who abstained from voting were actually cheering for a MRSA outbreak so the game had to be cancelled.
America sides with Michigan over Alabama in the Citrus Bowl, but just barely https://t.co/8QmWaBBwvb
— MLive (@MLive) December 26, 2019
Michigan State Spartans
S&P+ rank: Overall 12th, Offense 10th, Defense 15th, Special Teams 87th
Bowl game: New Era Pinstripe Bowl, New York, New York; Friday, Dec. 27th; 2:20 p.m. CT, ESPN
Opponent: Wake Forest
Biggest strength: I just hope whoever wins the 10th annual Pinstripe Bowl wears their hat for as long as Chris Orr wore his.
The 10th New Era Pinstripe Bowl is about to kick off here at Yankee Stadium, and we've got a great gameday program on sale for today's showdown between Wake Forest and Michigan State!
— Yankees Magazine (@YanksMagazine) December 27, 2019
Take a peek inside... pic.twitter.com/QnGmgqSUrM
Biggest weakness: If you needed a second opinion on betting this game, after taking Tyler’s advice of course, remember that MSU is so ass.
I like Wake Forest ML too ♂️ . Michigan State So Ass.
— RAE ♂️ (@rae_undftd) December 27, 2019
Minnesota Golden Gophers
S&P+ rank: Overall 12th, Offense 10th, Defense 15th, Special Teams 87th
Bowl game: Outback Bowl, Tampa Bay, Florida; Wednesday, Jan. 1st; 12:00 p.m. CT, ESPN
Opponent: No. 12 Auburn
Biggest strength: This poor kid’s mom is getting beat by the rest of her family’s alma maters and if Minnesota wins the Outback Bowl that’s a clean sweep!
Fun fact: my Mom is at risk of getting swept by all 3 other family schools in 3 years.
— Ryan Urquhart (@Ryan_Urq) December 25, 2019
2017: UCF over Auburn 34-27
2019: UF over Auburn 24-13
2019: Minnesota vs Auburn https://t.co/d8EjpPiX5R
Biggest weakness: P.J. Fleck has to shuffle his staff around since his offensive coordinator just jumped ship to Penn State. LMAO.
P.J. Fleck shuffles Minnesota coaching staff less than a week before Outback Bowl vs. Auburn after offensive coordinator Kirk Ciarrocca departs for same position at Penn State https://t.co/klnKHKUXRG pic.twitter.com/7V2Io5MryN
— Tom Green (@Tomas_Verde) December 27, 2019
Ohio State Buckeyes
S&P+ rank: Overall 12th, Offense 10th, Defense 15th, Special Teams 87th
Bowl game: PlayStation Fiesta Bowl (CFP Semifinal), Glendale, Arizona; Saturday, Dec. 28th; 7:00 p.m. CT ESPN
Opponent: No. 3 Clemson
Biggest strength: J.K. Dobbins isn’t the best running back in the B1G nor is he the smartest running back in the B1G (spoiler: both of those guys are Jonathan Taylor) but at least he is trying to teach his teammates the plural of cactus.
J.K. Dobbins, the grammar police: pic.twitter.com/oX6V9GVyYG
— Joey Kaufman (@joeyrkaufman) December 27, 2019
Biggest weakness: Ok...maybe Dobbins isn’t as smart as we thought.
Ohio State is the most disrespected team in the nation. pic.twitter.com/UcrIYxVbxZ
— Tony Gerdeman (@TonyGerdeman) December 24, 2019
On what planet is Ohio State the “most disrespected” team in the nation? Do the players just get brainwashed by the coaches to believe these things? Has Dobbins not watched a minute of sports television this season? I have a lot of questions and unfortunately very few answers.
Penn State Nittany Lions
S&P+ rank: Overall 12th, Offense 10th, Defense 15th, Special Teams 87th
Bowl game: Goodyear Cotton Bowl Classic, Arlington, Texas; Saturday, Dec. 28th; 11:00 a.m. CT, ESPN
Opponent: No. 17 Memphis
Biggest strength: THESE ARE AMAZING! MAKE ONE THAT IS A BADGER NEXT!
The 2019 #CottonBowl Tire Art statues of Memphis’ Tom the Tiger and the the Penn State Nittany Lion—each weighs more than 200lbs and stands over 5ft; together they were made from more than 260 Goodyear tires, 450 hidden screws and took 400+ man hours to complete. pic.twitter.com/mQTzIhY2Mb
— RedditCFB (@RedditCFB) December 27, 2019
Biggest weakness: Who is going to beat Penn State in the Cotton Bowl?
Memphis. Memphis. Memphis. Nothing but @memphisredbirds.
— Memphis 901 FC (@Memphis901FC) September 19, 2018
Champions. National Champions. pic.twitter.com/3SLJTBQxy1
Wisconsin Badgers
S&P+ rank: Overall 12th, Offense 10th, Defense 15th, Special Teams 87th
Bowl game: Rose Bowl Game presented by Northwestern Mutual, Pasadena, California; Wednesday, Jan. 1st; 4:00 p.m. CT, ESPN
Opponent: No. 6 Oregon
Biggest strength: Let’s try and win one of these, huh? For Barry?
Happy Rose Bowl week, Badgers everywhere#Badgers pic.twitter.com/hv1hum8mZt
— Scary Alvarez (@barryisthedon) December 27, 2019
Biggest weakness: Why doesn’t Paul Chryst get to stand next to Mickey? UNFAIR BIAS!
Bowl week has officially begun! @oregonfootball @BadgerFootball #RoseBowl @Disneyland pic.twitter.com/4IYkG25Px3
— Rose Bowl Game (@rosebowlgame) December 26, 2019