Ranking the rivalry games and their trophies.

Saturday of course we play for the greatest trophy in all of sports, the Paul Bunyan Axe, a great symbol of tough guys who felled enormous White Pines with brute strength made the lumber our northern cities are built out of.

But there are some other rivalry games.

Most Hilarious: The Egg Bowl (Ole Miss-Miss. St) which was made more hilarious last night because of the Dog Urinating penalty at the end of game. Please watch this video

Most overrated: The Iron Bowl (Alabama Auburn) This is a rivalry which inspires fans to poison storied live oak trees. But a trophy named, I presume after a device to take wrinkles out of clothes?

Strangest: Golden Screwdriver (Fresno-Hawaii) Trophy is odd but its oddness is offset by the fact that Fresno gets to go to Hawaii every couple of years to try to claim it.

Dumbest: 5$ piece of broken chair: (Nebraska-Minny) I mean, these schools want us to believe this is a rivalry and they come up with a joke of a trophy? Nebraska a once proud blue blood type program and still thinks they are, and Minny, which has a once proud history from the 30's, invent a trophy based on a twitter account.

Needs resurrected: Indian War Drum (Kansas-Nebraska) As a KU grad, I miss this rivalry and it's a pretty cool trophy.

The bell trophies appear to be cool, but since there are so many they have no uniqueness.

Bucket bowls are the same as bell trophies. Too many to be significant, like saying you win a bowl game, 40 other schools say so what, we won a bowl game too this year.

If you get down into the lower echelons of NCAA football you'll find some interesting ones like the 50 pound iron pot given to the winner of the Red Beans and Rice Bowl between McNeese St and Central Arkansas. This is one trophy I'd let someone else carry off the field. NDakota-NDS play for a Nickel which seems to be in violation of NCAA amateurism rules. Two schools in Minny play for a bone, two misery schools play for a Hickory Stick.

Two Wisconsin U-W's, Stout and Eau Claire play for the I-94 trophy, and two Florida schools play for the I-4 trophy, which is 90 less than the trophy the Wisconsin schools play for.

So it's pretty clear that what we're playing for is the best. There's some competition, but it's really not even close.

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