I have been in Arizona all week with my family for Thanksgiving and let me tell you what: traveling from Minnesota to Arizona with two children under three was just as horrific as I thought it would be. At least the baby didn’t cry the entire flight!
Anyways, happy Thanksgiving! I hope you enjoy time with loved ones and only read this once your one uncle starts talking about how his high school team would have made state if only coach had put him in.
S&P+ rank: Overall 22nd, Offense 15th, Defense 40th, Special Teams 22nd
Last week’s results: (L) vs. No. 13 Michigan, 39-14
Biggest strength: Well, can they?
[googling “can you cancel a football game like they do in baseball”]— #26 crimson quarry (@crimsonquarry) November 23, 2019
The #9WINDIANA dream is on very thin ice. The Hoosiers have to beat Purdue and then win their bowl game, and who knows who they’ll be playing in that game! Not a whole lot went right for IU last Saturday, but Micah McFadden had six tackles and an interception.
Biggest weakness: Everyone knows that Indiana wins the SEC East more often than Tennessee does.
Nothing like some SEC East football pic.twitter.com/lT6AvaGrsu— BUM CHILLUPS (@edsbs) November 23, 2019
A bunch of the Banner Society crew made it to Bloomington for the game and all these soft Southerners did was complain about how “cold” and “rainy” and “cold and rainy” it was. This is just what November is like here! COME TO MINNEAPOLIS FOR GAMEDAY AND AXE WEEK, COWARDS!
This week’s opponent: Saturday at Purdue, 11:00 a.m. CST, ESPN2
S&P+ rank: Overall 88th, Offense 73rd, Defense 82nd, Special Teams 127th
Last week’s results: (L) vs. Nebraska, 54-7
Biggest strength: Freeing up everyone’s Saturdays!
Not going to be watching the rest of this game. Maryland’s football season has been horrible in every way. Too soon to make sweeping statements about Locksley but they gotta rethink a lot of things this offseason. They just shouldn’t be this bad.— Andrew Emmer (@AndrewEmmer) November 23, 2019
Jesus Christ! Maryland didn’t even score until there were only three minutes left in the game and they were already down 54-0!! Did they even play the first 57 minutes of the game? In an impressive feat, they had seven different players catch a pass. I mean that quite literally. Seven dudes. Each dude caught one pass. The longest went for 12 yards! Congratulations to Brian Cobbs and Dontay Demus, Jr. for tying for this honor.
Biggest weakness: Hold up. MARYLAND IS IN THE BIG TEN!?!?
Maryland had two weeks to prep for Nebraska and seems to have no interest in this game. Not sure I've seen a team so tuned out to a coach so sort into a coaching tenure. Maryland beating Syracuse and being ranked seems like a century ago.— Testudo Dave (@TestudoDave) November 23, 2019
The Terps should move to the Big XII so they can play Texas every year.
When do Maryland and Rutgers have to show some improvement in football (because, sadly, that’s the only sport that matters when discussing this topic) before the B1G considers kicking them out of the conference? Does it ever happen? These two teams are embarrassing to have associated with the B1G.
Javon Leake may have had a 58 yard touchdown run but he also lost three (!!!) fumbles. As a team, they went 7-for-21 passing the ball for 57 yards. No interceptions though!
This week’s opponent: Saturday at Michigan State, 2:30 p.m. CST, FS1
S&P+ rank: Overall 10th, Offense 26th, Defense 5th, Special Teams 52nd
Last week’s results: (W) at Indiana, 39-14
Biggest strength: Every year these articles come out. EVERY YEAR! They should just copy and paste them.
Everything is rounding into form for The Game this weekend. Michigan has recovered from its early season struggles, and even beaten a pretty good Notre Dame team along the way, and now they are being gassed up before their annual loss to Ohio State.
Will they lose by a lot or will it be a close loss filled with controversy? I, for one, can not WAIT to find out.
Biggest weakness: If Michigan fans think the threat of going to jail is going to stop Ohio State fans from doing something, well, the Wolverines are dumber than I thought.
Daxton Hill led the team in tackles with eight and also had a pick. Shea Patterson had a monster game throwing the ball: 366 yards and five touchdowns is not very B1G of you, Shea. Unless you were playing for Purdue, I suppose.
This week’s opponent: Saturday vs. No. 1 Ohio State, 11:00 a.m. CST, FOX
Michigan State Spartans
S&P+ rank: Overall 40th, Offense 86th, Defense 12th, Special Teams 114th
Last week’s results: (W) at Rutgers, 27-0
Biggest strength: Good comebacks.
Mark Dantonio responds to Urban Meyer’s critique about the decline in MSU’s player development by citing how Darqueze Dennard, Trae Waynes and Jack Conklin all grew into first-round picks.— Nate Atkins (@NateAtkins_) November 26, 2019
The most recent of those played in 2015, which I believe is Urban’s entire point.
After reviewing some box scores I feel safe in saying that Michigan State is better than Ohio State because the Spartans shutout the Scarlet Knights, unlike the Buckeyes who, as far as I can tell, gave up all the points that Rutgers has scored this year.
Cody White caught 11 passes for 136 yards and three touchdowns. Since they were playing Rutgers though...you legally have to cut those stats in half for his season total.
Biggest weakness: I can never find enough interesting stuff for the Michigan State section of this post, especially when they play Rutgers, so let’s talk about Ned.
[pounding clipboard] NED NED NED NED pic.twitter.com/1BFDK3aR1s— Wofford Terriers hate week (@thejasonkirk) November 24, 2019
The Miami/FIU Brawl of 2006 was notable, not because it was a brawl in a 35-0 beatdown by Miami, but because of noble warrior A’mod Ned hobbling into the fray on his crutches to defend his teammates and school’s honor.
FIU beating Miami 30-24 this past Saturday is the ultimate Revenge of Ned. God bless you, Ned. God bless you, FIU.
This week’s opponent: Saturday vs. Maryland, 2:30 p.m. CST, FS1
Ohio State Buckeyes
S&P+ rank: Overall 1st, Offense 5th, Defense 1st, Special Teams 18th
Last week’s results: (W) vs. No. 8 Penn State, 28-17
Biggest strength: The NCAA deprived us of so many sacks.
Man, I can’t enjoy Chase Young setting the Ohio State sack record knowing that he accepahahahahaha man I almost had it— Ryan Nanni (@celebrityhottub) November 23, 2019
I'd venmo him $500 and call the NCAA https://t.co/jfNUUsbGvF— Rodger Sherman (@rodger) November 23, 2019
This also works!
This is the only thing that would work. Chase Young had three sacks, four tackles for loss and nine overall stops. He’s amazing. J.K. Dobbins had 157 yards and two touchdowns on the ground and Justin Fields added two more scores through the air.
Biggest weakness: As always, this blog is Team #FactsOnly.
85 percent of Ohio State fans are named Larry— Treb (@treblaw) November 23, 2019
Rutgers is Ohio State’s biggest weakness.
Rutgers has scored 45 points in 7.5 Big Ten games; 21 of those came against Ohio State.— Chris Vannini (@ChrisVannini) November 23, 2019
Rutgers' 21 pts are tied for the most Ohio State allowed in a game this year.
Hey, do you never want to sleep again? Here ya go!
The Buckeyes fumbled the ball an awful lot against the Nittany Lions and only won by 11, which probably furthered Michigan’s belief that they can beat Ohio State. This is all going according to plan.
This week’s opponent: Saturday at No. 13 Michigan, 11:00 a.m. CST, FOX
Penn State Nittany Lions
S&P+ rank: Overall 7th, Offense 16th, Defense 10th, Special Teams 7th
Last week’s results: (L) at No. 2 Ohio State, 28-17
Biggest strength: This describes exactly how I feel before big games.
me, all week: “could get ugly, ohio state is quite good and matches up with PSU very well. good news is rutgers is next week.”— Bill DiFilippo (@billdifilippo) November 23, 2019
me, gameday: “PSU by 63 and after it ends i’m gonna steal jim tressel’s identity and buy a used ford escape. good news is rutgers is next week.”
The defense was pretty great. Yetur Gross-Matos had two sacks and nine tackles and Garrett Taylor led the teams with 13 total tackles. As a team, they recovered three fumbles.
Biggest weakness: I hate James Franklin so much.
Unconscionable decision by James Franklin to punt from the Ohio State 36-yard line.— Kyle Rowland (@KyleRowland) November 23, 2019
I know it’s 4th and 8 but punting from Ohio State territory is such a white flag decision by James Franklin. They’re running all over your defense! You need points, not field position!— Zach Barnett (@zach_barnett) November 23, 2019
James Franklin punting on 4th-and-4 at the OSU 42,— Tom Orr (@TomOrr4) November 23, 2019
I can't even imagine what it's like to watch this guy run a team every week.
Really. He’s the worst coach in the world.
Ryan Day:— Banner Society (@BannerSociety) November 23, 2019
<goes for a fourth-and-5 at the Penn State 26, converts it>
"yeah but you could've punted that"
<goes for it on fourth-and-goal at the Penn State 1, scores a TD>
“yeah but we're winning the field position battle"
The fact that Penn State wins any games with James Franklin as their coach will be one of history’s greatest mysteries.
This week’s opponent: Saturday vs. Rutgers, 2:30 p.m. CST, BTN
Rutgers Scarlet Knights
S&P+ rank: Overall 117th, Offense 119th, Defense 87th, Special Teams 65th
Last week’s results: (L) vs. Michigan State, 27-0
Biggest strength: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
17-0 Michigan State at the half. 267 total yards and 15 first downs for Sparty compared to 30 total yards and 0 first downs for RU. Not much more to say. pic.twitter.com/TUTaKXvCyq— On the Banks (@OTB_SBNation) November 23, 2019
Rutgers had 140 total yards of offense. They went 0-for-11 on third down. They had seven penalties for 84 yards. The had the ball for a scant 22:09.
Biggest weakness: It...didn’t work.
Eric LeGrand just called out the Rutgers Board of Governors during a halftime ceremony to honor him and, as the kids say, I am dead.— Steve Politi (@StevePoliti) November 23, 2019
This coaching search is a real mess, even by Rutgersian standards of making a mess of things.
To be clear, if an unemployed guy who’s bombed out at his last 2 stops wants MORE THAN $32 MILLION, you are the smart one when you tell him to jump in a lake and for that we offer a rare tip of the hat to @RFootball— Off Tackle Empire (@offtackleempire) November 24, 2019
As of more recently, apparently Schiano to Rutgers may actually be kind of back on? No one knows and, quite frankly, no one can look away until this train wreck comes to a stop.
This week’s opponent: Saturday at No. 10 Penn State, 2:30 p.m. CST, BTN
Illinois Fighting Illini
S&P+ rank: Overall 56th, Offense 80th, Defense 49th, Special Teams 9th
Last week’s results: (L) at No. 17 Iowa, 19-10
Biggest strength: Is Desmond Howard some sort of warlock?
Desmond Howard knew before all of us. https://t.co/G9dbn31uNH— Patrick Catezone (@p_catezone) November 23, 2019
They held the offensive juggernaut Hawkeyes to only 19 points and Dele Harding had a dozen tackles, including 1.5 for loss. Sydney Brown had six tackles and a pick. The offense was...not great.
Biggest weakness: Illinois’ chances of winning the B1G West after playing a game in Kinnick.
Brandon Peters completed just over half of his passes and it would be even higher when you include the two interceptions he threw! Hopefully Illinois was looking ahead to the HAT HAT HAT HAT HAT HAT HAT HAT and just got distracted.
This week’s opponent: Saturday vs. Northwestern, 11:00 a.m. CST, FS1
S&P+ rank: Overall 21st, Offense 63rd, Defense 8th, Special Teams 24th
Last week’s results: (W) vs. Illinois, 19-10
Biggest strength: Loving thy neighbor.
IC man accused of mowing neighbor's yard while intoxicated https://t.co/EZgyqcK7yL— 1630 KCJJ (@KCJJ) November 23, 2019
Nate Stanley also completed just over half of his passes and it would be even higher if you include his interception. He did throw for 308 yards too. Kristian Welch had 12 tackles and a sack and Ihmir Smith-Marsette had four catches for 121 yards.
Also, why is it crime to mow your neighbor’s lawn?!? I don’t care how many beers you’ve had, you can mow my lawn whenever you’d like!
Biggest weakness: GAHHH!
Iowa ran the ball 32 times for 79 yards. They probably should have put in this Punisher looking freak show in the stands. He looks like he can move the pile pretty well.
This week’s opponent: Friday at Nebraska, 1:30 p.m. CST, BTN
Minnesota Golden Gophers
S&P+ rank: Overall 14th, Offense 8th, Defense 25th, Special Teams 93rd
Last week’s results: (W) at Northwestern, 38-22
Biggest strength: Picking winners.
PJ Fleck ends his presser with a "Boiler Up."— Ryan Burns (@RyanBurnsMN) November 23, 2019
Memes. Honestly, the Minnesota social media team has been really good this year.
Tanner Morgan tossed four touchdowns, three of them to Rashod Bateman, and the Gophers finally put the Wildcats away. Antoine Winfield, Jr. had 11 tackles and a sack and the team went 9-of-11 on third down.
Biggest weakness: Yeah, who would give up a bunch of points to Northwestern?
Giving up 16 points isn't terrible, but in the context of a historically bad Northwestern offense led by a fourth-string QB? Really disappointing effort.— The Daily Gopher (@TheDailyGopher) November 23, 2019
The Gophers defense went on the give up another touchdown after this tweet so I’m pretty sure Jonathan Taylor will score 100 touchdowns by himself this Saturday.
The Gophers only had three players catch a pass. If I’m Jim Leonhard I’m going to focus on Bateman, Tyler Johnson and Chris Autman-Bell. Someone should tell Leonhard about this strategy.
This week’s opponent: Saturday vs. No. 12 Wisconsin, 2:30 p.m. CST, ABC
S&P+ rank: Overall 52nd, Offense 41st, Defense 55th, Special Teams 123rd
Last week’s results: (W) at Maryland, 54-7
Biggest strength: Practicing what they preach.
The entire coaching staff is wearing hoodies btw— ️ Stadium ️ And Pinnacle Arena (@SaltCreekGBR) November 23, 2019
The Huskers stomped the Terps by a million and no one even had that impressive of a stat line. J.D. Spielman had seven catches for 104 yards and two touchdowns and that’s about it. No one rushed for over 100 yards. Adrian Martinez didn’t throw for over 200 yards. Nebraska just whupped Maryland and didn’t even expend any energy doing it.
Nebraska might not even be bowl eligible this year and they beat Maryland by only turning it up to, like, six, forget about turning it all the way to 11.
Biggest weakness: I rarely/never feel bad for Huskers fans, but traveling all the way to Maryland to watch football seems like a really mean thing to do.
Touchdown, Nebraska.— Testudo Times (@testudotimes) November 23, 2019
Rahmir Johnson punches it in from one yard out to continue to pile it on. "Go Big Red" chants are the only noise in this stadium.
44-0 Nebraska, 2:21 3Q.
At least they got to see a win, which is not something that happens very often in Lincoln.
This week’s opponent: Friday vs. No. 17 Iowa, 1:30 p.m. CST, BTN
S&P+ rank: Overall 91st, Offense 122nd, Defense 30th, Special Teams 112th
Last week’s results: (L) vs. No. 10 Minnesota, 38-22
Biggest strength: Offensive coordinating the grill.
I’m here in Evanston and mick mccall is experiencing acute food poisoning from a chicken breast he said he cooked rare because he likes t better that way.— beng (@kicknyrgios) November 23, 2019
Hold on. Are you saying that Northwestern’s offensive coaches are...bad??????
This reflects unbelievably poorly on the offensive coaching staff. It's really, really, really, really bad.— HAT (@insidenu) November 23, 2019
You should want to pay college football players for the sole purpose of Northwestern defensive players being compensated for having to put up with Northwestern’s offensive coaches.
What a bookend to Joe Gaziano's historic career.— HAT (@insidenu) November 23, 2019
He breaks the Northwestern sack record the same way he got his first sack: on a safety. https://t.co/RlkWeC4m51
Third string QB Andrew Marty threw one touchdown and ran for two more and maybe the NU OFFENSE IS BACK!?!?
Biggest weakness: PUT DOWN YOUR CELL PHONES!
AND PUT DOWN YOUR BOOKS AND RUBIK’S CUBES!!!!
NORTHWESTERN SPORTS: FEEL THE EXCITEMENT! pic.twitter.com/7kEpsToKcL— RossWB (@RossWB) November 23, 2019
Watching a Northwestern football game is the last thing on my “list of things to do.” I would rather listen to my parents list of all the ways I’ve disappointed them in high school at Thanksgiving dinner than watch NU play football. Lucky for me, that’ll probably happen!
This week’s opponent: Saturday at Illinois, 11:00 a.m. CST, FS1
S&P+ rank: Overall 62nd, Offense 54th, Defense 79th, Special Teams 57th
Last week’s results: (L) at No. 12 Wisconsin, 45-24
Biggest strength: Thank you for your service, Purdue Pete.
Aidan O’Connell threw for 289 yards and two touchdowns. David Bell had 12 catches for 108 yards and Brycen Hopkins had eight catches for 127 yards and two scores. Bell and Rondale Moore are going to form quite the duo at wideout for Purdue next year.
Biggest weakness: The Jets are good again.
This is a way more important story than anything I could write about Purdue. Sam Darnold got wasted and “hooked up with a girl” after the Jets won last weekend.
This week’s opponent: Saturday vs. Indiana, 11:00 a.m. CST, ESPN2
S&P+ rank: Overall 12th, Offense 11th, Defense 14th, Special Teams 87th
Last week’s results: (W) vs. Purdue, 45-24
Biggest strength: 62-yard field goals.
This FOX angle of Wisconsin's 62-yard field goal is incredible: pic.twitter.com/im4e8Z1TCh— Alex Roux (@arouxBTN) November 23, 2019
#Badgers Garrett Groshek on his read/fake to Stokke on his TD run out of the Wildcat: It’s a pretty simple read. I’m not giving the ball to Mason.— Jeff Potrykus (@jaypo1961) November 24, 2019
Jack Coan was 15-for-19 for 203 yards and two scores and still somehow I thought he had a bad game. Maybe ever Wisconsin fan just hates all quarterbacks? I don’t know. Maybe I’m just an idiot? I do know that.
Jonathan Taylor had 222 yards and a score, his third straight game rushing for over 200 yards. As a team, the Badgers ran for 403 yards. Eric Burrell had a pick. Chris Orr led the team in tackles with nine.
Biggest weakness: Fumbles and tackling. Those were two pretty big weaknesses. Whatever though...it’s Axe Week.
As always, listen to Chris Orr, folks.
Chris Orr addresses fans and says "We're going to get our axe back." pic.twitter.com/0v8CqQpzb4— Jesse Temple (@jessetemple) November 24, 2019
This week’s opponent: Saturday at. No. 8 Minnesota, 2:30 p.m. CST, ABC