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We are getting right down to the end of the season and only have a handful or Roasts left. That’s sad...but also let’s get to roasting Ohio State for losing to Rutgers!
Indiana Hoosiers
S&P+ rank: Overall 20th, Offense 13th, Defense 34th, Special Teams 13th
Last week’s results: (L) at No. 9 Penn State, 34-27
Biggest strength: I don’t know if I’ve ever wanted a sticker more than I want this one.
1. Graphic design is my passion
— Ryan Nanni (@celebrityhottub) November 15, 2019
2. If you’re going to Michigan-Indiana next weekend, look for @38Godfrey and @edsbs and see if they will give you one of these stickers pic.twitter.com/GCeST2h0om
Just because Jake is gone doesn’t mean this isn’t still a pro wrestling blog posing as a Wisconsin sports blog.
Indiana did that thing they do once a season where they looking like they’re going to beat a top-15 team (down three to PSU with 10:45 left in the game) but then give up a crushing game-winning touchdown (Sean Clifford scored on a one-yard run with 1:44 left, the result of an 18-play, 9:01 drive) and finally losing the game. The Hoosiers are still on track to win nine games though. #9WINDIANA will never die.
Peyton Ramsey threw for 371 yards, ran for 31 yards and scored three touchdowns (two on the ground, one through the air).
Biggest weakness: It’s true. We don’t make the laws here at SB Nation, we just enforce them.
indiana is 7-3. have lost to ohio state at home, michigan state and penn state on the road. have not lost to any team they shouldn’t have.
— #26 crimson quarry (@crimsonquarry) November 16, 2019
if you’re saying “same old indiana” right now i legally get to stuff you in a garbage can and roll you into traffic.
Yes...that would be a shame.
would be a real shame if i had to spend my saturday evening dunking on this clip nine thousand times https://t.co/fhTG1wbkcB
— #26 crimson quarry (@crimsonquarry) November 18, 2019
Indiana’s fake punt was really stupid. Don’t call a timeout to set it up, you idiots! Even James Franklin knew what was coming!!
This week’s opponent: Saturday vs. No. 15 Michigan, 2:30 p.m. CST, ESPN
Maryland Terrapins
S&P+ rank: Overall 80th, Offense 68th, Defense 72nd, Special Teams 127th
Last week’s results: BYE
Biggest strength: That’s crazy that the cloning machine they used to make that sheep is now being used on humans. Weird that it wasn’t a bigger news story.
Look who Trevor Lawrence just met. #TikTok #Clemson pic.twitter.com/RFOBL2EZfm
— TheClemsonInsider (@ClemsonInsider) November 16, 2019
Biggest weakness: This dude is like Ricky Davis shooting at his own basket to try and get a rebound to complete a triple-double. What I’m trying to say is I LOVE IT.
This is one way to end a blowout
— SportsCenter (@SportsCenter) November 16, 2019
While trailing by 55 with 15 secs left, Monmouth’s George Papas stole the ball as Kansas was dribbling out the clock, dunked it and got a tech. pic.twitter.com/o43LZsANbi
This week’s opponent: Saturday vs. Nebraska, 2:30 p.m. CST, BTN
Michigan Wolverines
S&P+ rank: Overall 10th, Offense 34th, Defense 5th, Special Teams 49th
Last week’s results: (W) vs. Michigan State, 44-10
Biggest strength: It is going to be SO AMAZING when Ohio State pounds them into dust in two weeks.
Since Jim Harbaugh’s “this will be Michigan’s finest hour” statement at halftime of Penn State, in past 3 1/2 games:
— Brett McMurphy (@Brett_McMurphy) November 16, 2019
UM has outscored opposition 141-38
UM has outgained opposition by 752 yards
UM has only 1 turnover (compared to 14 in 1st 6 1/2 games)
This is what Disney+ was made for!
If you watch the Michigan-Michigan State game backwards, it's an uplifting tale about a scrappy team from East Lansing that, despite trailing 44-3, managed to score the final points of the game and proceeded to moonwalk to its bus with the players still wearing their helmets.
— Scott Bell (@sbell021) November 16, 2019
Secondary B1G offensive player of the week, Shea Patterson threw for 384 yards and four touchdowns. But he also fumbled once...which was recovered by Michigan BUT STILL! Ronnie Bell caught nine passes for 150 yards. The defense picked off two MSU passes and held the Spartans to 54 rushing yards (220 total).
Biggest weakness: It looks like this kid’s parents just walked in on him having some, um, alone time.
Jim Harbaugh walking the sidelines. Watch the red headed manager. pic.twitter.com/wljWcTX791
— Steve Finamore (@CoachFinamore) November 16, 2019
That kid masturbating aside, the Wolverines looked pretty good against their in-state rival. If they can beat Indiana, which is no guarantee, they’ll be brimming with confidence heading into The Game. They’ll be 9-2 overall and potentially ranked in the top-ten...it’ll be so amazing to listen to Michigan fans that week.
This week’s opponent: Saturday at Indiana, 2:30 p.m. CST, ESPN
Michigan State Spartans
S&P+ rank: Overall 40th, Offense 84th, Defense 17th, Special Teams 111th
Last week’s results: (L) at No. 15 Michigan, 44-10
Biggest strength: Being talked about by national pundits.
Urban Meyer with a blunt assessment of MSU:
— Chris Vannini (@ChrisVannini) November 16, 2019
"You watch Michigan State play, how many NFL players do they got? That doesn't look like the defenses I used to go against. They had first-round corners, Le'Veon Bell. I don't see that. That's coaches, recruiting development."
Imo they shouldn’t play ANYONE anymore. Disband the program.
I’m being dead serious, what is the point in playing Lewerke anymore?
— SPARTY SZN (@sparty__88) November 16, 2019
They sacked Shea Patterson four times. Cody White had six catches for 78 yards. That’s about it though. This team is phoning in the rest of the season and I hope they play Rutgers to a 3-3 tie this week.
Biggest weakness: Former MSU defensive back has thoughts on current iteration of MSU’s football team...they are not good thoughts.
U gotta be kidding me. Gotta play wit some heart at some point. Never let a team disrespect u especially these arrogant bums smh
— Isaiah Lewis (@showtimezo9) November 16, 2019
When your rival doesn’t even have any shit to talk because they just dismantled you so completely.
What was said after the game? Khaleke Hudson: “We didn’t need to say anything. We won the game. I was celebrating with the Paul Bunyan trophy with my teammates”
— Anthony Broome (@anthonytbroome) November 16, 2019
The memes from rivalry games are the best memes.
sorry to indulge but i felt inclined to post my 2009 vs 2019 pic.twitter.com/0FzZ2dp6Iy
— Ace Anbender (@AceAnbender) November 18, 2019
MSU showed zero fight against Michigan. I know that Michigan is the much better team, but that’s true every year and somehow Michigan State still won a bunch recently! Mark Dantonio is a dead man walking and it looks like that has seeped into the rest of the locker room. They rushed the ball 30 times for 54 yards. Bang up job, gang. Maybe you should reshuffle the assistant coaches again?
This week’s opponent: Saturday at Rutgers, 11:00 a.m. CST, FS1
Ohio State Buckeyes
S&P+ rank: Overall 1st, Offense 4th, Defense 1st, Special Teams 17th
Last week’s results: (W, but really a L) at Rutgers, 56-21
Biggest strength: I mean, no. But we still want Chugz to play.
Does it really surprise anyone that the QB named "Gunnar" looks more impressive than the one affectionately known as "Chugz"
— Land-Grant Holy Land (@Landgrant33) November 16, 2019
I think Rutgers should’ve been spotted 21 points in this game just to make it interesting for all parties.
would like everyone to look at the ohio state-rutgers win probability chart pic.twitter.com/iFuyrR8zRJ
— patrick mayhorn (@patrick_mayhorn) November 17, 2019
Unlike Alabama, Ohio State made it out of their blowout victory with a fully healthy starting quarterback. Justin Fields was 15-for-19 for 305 yards and four scores. He also ran three times for 30 yards. He’s awesome. The backup quarterback Chris Chuganov, who as you now know is nicknamed Chugz, threw two touchdowns as well! CHUGZ!
Biggest weakness: Yeah, well, eventually Rutgers had more points than Ohio State had points when this tweet was posted! So suck on that!
Ohio State points: 14
— MATT BROWN (@MattSBN) November 16, 2019
Rutgers yards: 12
The Roast is a #factsonly realm.
Teams that shut out Rutgers:
— Aria Gerson (@aria_gerson) November 16, 2019
Michigan
Indiana
Iowa
Teams that did not shut out Rutgers:
Ohio State
I’m giving Ohio State a major L in this game. Their record should read 10-0(1) for the rest of the season. Ohio State’s managers should have been able to shutout Rutgers, yet there we were watching Rutgers score in the FIRST FREAKING QUARTER!?! That’s pathetic and if Urban Meyer were still the coach he would go this whole week without covering up any sort of misdeeds that his players did as punishment.
This week’s opponent: Saturday vs. No. 9 Penn State, 11:00 a.m. CST, FOX
Penn State Nittany Lions
S&P+ rank: Overall 7th, Offense 11th, Defense 12th, Special Teams 9th
Last week’s results: (W) vs. Indiana, 34-27
Biggest strength: Journey Brown ran for exactly 100 yards and one touchdown while Sean Clifford added 55 on the ground and two scores. He didn’t throw the ball super well but also didn’t throw a pick. K.J. Hamler got hurt, which is a bummer, and may have hindered Clifford’s passing performance. Yetur Gross-Matos had a sack.
Moral victories are for chumps so I'm not saying Indiana should be happy with a loss. It's just wild that a Penn State team that's in playoff contention had to milk the clock and play the possession game to beat the Hoosiers in Happy Valley. And it wasn't a fluke!
— Mark Titus (@clubtrillion) November 16, 2019
Transitively Penn State is worse than Iowa so lets pump the brakes on them being in “playoff contention.”
Biggest weakness: Sometimes I wish I had the self-confidence to wear facial hair like this and then I remember what I used to do to my face in college and, well...that wasn’t self-confidence so much as, what’s the word? Drunken stupidity? Yeah. Probably that.
this dude definitely looks like he should be tying damsels to train tracks in the old west pic.twitter.com/0FKKTpr14X
— RossWB (@RossWB) November 16, 2019
Out-gained by IU. Out-first downed by IU. Out-time of possessioned despite the crazy game-killing drive they had in the fourth quarter. They DID only have one penalty for zero yards, so not all bad!
This week’s opponent: Saturday at No. 2 Ohio State, 11:00 a.m. CST, FOX
Rutgers Scarlet Knights
S&P+ rank: Overall 110th, Offense 109th, Defense 88th, Special Teams 64th
Last week’s results: (L, but really a W) vs. No. 2 Ohio State, 56-21
Biggest strength: Rutgers is really trying their best to become likable. The more self-aware a fan base the better imo.
TOUCHDOWN RUTGERS! I swear I'm not making this up but somebody brought confetti into the building and is dropping it from the upper deck. Brilliant.
— Steve Politi (@StevePoliti) November 16, 2019
Which is why Nebraska will always be the second worst fan base in the conference (obviously Ohio State is No. 1 and it isn’t even close).
Rutgers' first 6 Big Ten games: 24 points
— Matt Fortuna (@Matt_Fortuna) November 17, 2019
Rutgers vs. No. 2 Ohio State: 21 points
Bo Melton caught three passes for 57 yards and a touchdown. Christian Izien and Tyshon Fogg each had 11 tackles. Also, and I think this is important to remember, RUTGERS SCORED 21 POINTS AGAINST OHIO STATE HOLY SHIT!
Biggest weakness: At least this cheerleader was confident in his team’s ability to score!
Hi yea that was me. They were both red so I was a little confused until I saw the rutgers student section not cheering. Oops https://t.co/12GDkxO6ax
— johnny g (@GonzabayJohn) November 17, 2019
These are the parenting conversations I’m not looking forward to.
You try to hide this stuff from your children but they have a way of forcing some difficult conversations pic.twitter.com/RGHgIGgDDB
— MATT BROWN (@MattSBN) November 16, 2019
Quarterback Johnny Langam went 12-of-26 for 121 yards, one score and two picks in the win and the team only needed to rush for 110 yards on 40 carries to beat the Buckeyes. Just crazemazing stuff, you guys.
This week’s opponent: Saturday vs. Michigan State, 11:00 a.m. CST, FS1
Illinois Fighting Illini
S&P+ rank: Overall 51st, Offense 71st, Defense 55th, Special Teams 4th
Last week’s results: BYE
Biggest strength: Optimism.
It's "easy" now, Illinois needs five results to happen to win the division:
— Steve (@IlliniToffee) November 17, 2019
Northwestern over Minnesota
Wisconsin over Minnesota
Purdue over Wisconsin
Beat Iowa and Northwestern
I’m honestly happy that Illini fans have stuff like this. They were so very depressed until they beat the Badgers and now they have some crazy thread to pull which will make this weekend so much more fun for them!
The plan's coming together pic.twitter.com/61cQLkq1oi
— IllinoisLoyalty (@IllinoisLoyalty) November 19, 2019
Biggest weakness: I never thought of this show as being this weird when I’d watch it but...seriously. What the fuck was up with this show?
I miss how deeply weird College Football Final was with Lou Holtz and Mark May. Two true psychopaths just shouting nonsense at each other, and sometimes Rece Davis would wear judges robes for some reason. It was a real sight to behold each and every week.
— Andy Reid (@misterAndyReid) November 17, 2019
You couldn’t understand a God damned thing Lou Holtz said, Mark May is an IDIOT and poor Rece Davis was there trying to keep the peace and also counting down the days until he could take over on GameDay.
It was excellent content.
This week’s opponent: Saturday at No. 20 Iowa, 11:00 a.m. CST, BTN
Iowa Hawkeyes
S&P+ rank: Overall 23rd, Offense 56th, Defense 11th, Special Teams 23rd
Last week’s results: (W) vs. No. 8 Minnesota, 23-19
Biggest strength: GAH!
Taking a page out of the Gopher playbook. I love it. pic.twitter.com/ofoNLgyqcj
— Dan Borwig (@DBorwig316) November 16, 2019
::Dwight Schrute “it’s true” dot gif::
Don't call Minnesota a fraud if they get Ferentz'd. Losing a stupid game to Iowa amid your best season in generations is a rite of passage for all elite Midwestern programs
— Alex Kirshner (@alex_kirshner) November 16, 2019
Nate Stanley was an efficient enough 14-of-23 for 173 yards, two scores and, most importantly, zero turnovers. Tyler Goodson ran for 94 yards and a score and Kristian Welch led the defense with 11 tackles and a sack. A.J. Epenesa had 2.5 sacks and the team as a whole recorded six sacks against Tanner Morgan.
Biggest weakness: This was my favorite part of Saturday.
Hi I’m PJ Fleck and I just cost my team a first down
— BlackHeartGoldPants (@BHGP) November 16, 2019
Center of attention PJ Fleck costing his team a chance at points? You hate to see it.
— Bucky's 5th Quarter (@B5Q) November 16, 2019
Look, we know that P.J. Fleck didn’t really cost his team anything with his insane sprint on to the field to see if his “prone” player (who was already standing by the time Fleck got out there) was injured or not because all of the penalties were after the play but wasn’t it amazing to think that he DID cost his team points for the briefest of moments.
Worth noting that Fleck did not cost his team a first down on that play. The penalty was assessed after the play, which meant Iowa was pushed back half the distance, then Fleck's penalty gave Iowa 15 yards.
— Go Iowa Awesome (@IowaAwesome) November 16, 2019
So no, the referees were not going to extend the drive after the drop.
At least Fleck was contrite and admitted his mistake and didn’t say he’d do it all over again even though it was just grandstanding so he could say that he “cares about his players more” than any other coach. What’s that?
PJ Fleck on his unsportsmanlike penalty where he ran onto the field to help one of his injured players.
— Sean Bock (@SBock247) November 17, 2019
“I’d do it all over again.” pic.twitter.com/zPynWlOCPn
Fleck is a horse’s ass.
I’m really glad we can go back to cheering against Iowa now that this game is over. That was a rough three hours.
This week’s opponent: Saturday vs. Illinois, 11:00 a.m. CST, BTN
Minnesota Golden Gophers
S&P+ rank: Overall 16th, Offense 8th, Defense 26th, Special Teams 98th
Last week’s results: (L) at No. 20 Iowa, 23-19
Biggest strength: LSUFreek is back!
Meanwhile, in Iowa City #MINNvsIOWA https://t.co/Cik8XxXuwW pic.twitter.com/teVJeL2fDC
— Terrance Donnels (@LSUFreek) November 17, 2019
Bridging borders with their losing.
Well, that's a first pic.twitter.com/ChDv6YHQY6
— #AreaRED (@AreaRED) November 17, 2019
Tanner Morgan threw for 368 yards but only one touchdown and Tyler Johnson continued his impressive season with nine catches for 170 yards and that aforementioned touchdown.
Biggest weakness: Just getting owned by Iowa on the field and off.
Ski-U-Nahhh. #Hawkeyes pic.twitter.com/HXFpnA0mv9
— Hawkeye Football (@HawkeyeFootball) November 17, 2019
Imagine getting your goal posts torn down by the visiting teams fans. Couldn’t be me.
In ‘02, IA wins at MN to clinch a share of Big Ten title. Iowa fans storm the field and tear down the opponents goal post. The first picture is a piece of that goal post that was sent to my dad from the MN AD along with a bill. Coolest piece of memorabilia we have #KeepFloydHome pic.twitter.com/4Gs0rEp640
— Kyle Bowlsby (@kbowlsby) November 16, 2019
RIP Goldy.
#GoHawks #MINNvsIOWA @IowaOnBTN pic.twitter.com/8yEsMoYJsp
— Ryan McCoy (@RMcCoy30) November 17, 2019
The rushing attack was nonexistent, gaining 63 yards on 30 carries, and the defense couldn’t generate any turnovers, which were key in beating Penn State. It would be a real shame if the Gophers, after two weeks of monster games, had a letdown against Northwestern, succumbed to their cell phones and lost to the Fighting Fitzgeralds in Evanston.
A real shame.
This week’s opponent: Saturday at Northwestern, 11:00 a.m. CST, ABC
Nebraska Cornhuskers
S&P+ rank: Overall 55th, Offense 45th, Defense 61st, Special Teams 124th
Last week’s results: (L) vs. No. 14 Wisconsin, 37-21
Biggest strength: Scouting. But maybe not decision making since he saw all this and willfully chose to be on the wrong side.
Nebraska LB Mohamad Barry: "Traditionally we don’t do real well versus Wisconsin. SInce the time I was getting recruited here. I remember 2015 and 2014 watching how those running backs ran against us for years and years and years. ...
— Dave Heller (@dave_heller) November 16, 2019
Nebraska’s rushing attack looked potent against Wisconsin. Dedrick Mills only had 17 carries but he gained an eye-popping 188 yards. Adrian Martinez, who had a so-so day throwing the ball, ran for 89 yards on 16 attempts. Both guys had touchdowns.
Will Honas and Mohamed Barry each had 12 tackles but unfortunately for them, they were usually making them four yards from the line of scrimmage at best.
Biggest weakness: He got as many contract extensions on Saturday as he got losses AND has career winning seasons! Good for Scott Frost. A Happy Scott Frost Day to us all!
relevant https://t.co/f4FzM8BHuj
— Owen Riese (@RieseDraft) November 16, 2019
The special teams gave up a kick return touchdown after the offense scored first and the first hints of an upset were brewing. They couldn’t stop the Badgers rushing attack and when Jack Coan was forced to throw he made just enough plays to keep the Huskers honest. It’s pretty crazy to think that the Huskers gave up 7.1 yards per carry and were the BETTER defense in that regard on Saturday.
This week’s opponent: Saturday at Maryland, 2:30 p.m. CST, BTN
Northwestern Wildcats
S&P+ rank: Overall 84th, Offense 123rd, Defense 20th, Special Teams 109th
Last week’s results: (W) vs. UMass, 45-6
Biggest strength: The pageantry and excitement of college football is unmatched.
So lucky that the bye week lined up with Northwestern’s game of the season against
— Olivia Reiner (@ReinerOlivia) November 16, 2019
*checks ticket*
UMass. pic.twitter.com/JSQhzmAXjj
What the hell even was this game? Why was this game? I hate everything about it. Northwestern should never beat ANYONE by 39 points.
Biggest weakness: This was actually how many people were there in the fourth quarter of the game. Players too.
“The Granddaddy of Them All” pic.twitter.com/DRQ4zCbcH7
— Inside NU (@insidenu) November 16, 2019
The other day my daughter was trying to get me to read this one Halloween book (which I hate) and she threw it in my lap, looked me in the eyes and said “ready, set, read!” At that point, what choice did I have? I read her the book and then moved it because she is in charge of the house now.
This week’s opponent: Saturday vs. No. 8 Minnesota, 11:00 a.m. CST, ABC
Purdue Boilermakers
S&P+ rank: Overall 61st, Offense 60th, Defense 74th, Special Teams 61st
Last week’s results: BYE
Biggest strength: I’m glad this photographer is ok! She got walloped pretty good and had to go to the hospital.
For those of you asking if I got “the” shot, here it is!! The last thing my camera & I saw before being tackled. @brianherrienn, I hope you LOVE this photo!! ❤️ #godawgs pic.twitter.com/mxWfyWhcUU
— Chamberlain Smith (@ChamberlainSmit) November 19, 2019
Biggest weakness: Well...can you?
boy: i wish girls liked sports
— gabb (@gabbgoudy) November 18, 2019
girl: i like sports
boy: name the blood type of every heisman winner since 1990
In college once my buddy was driving and hit the curb while going pretty fast. He just says “curbed it” and we keep driving. I still say that regularly.
snowing hard this morning. Bus driver slid through a red light. Only thing he said was “we slidin” i cant stop thinking about this
— roob (@roob_drummer) November 11, 2019
This week’s opponent: Saturday at No. 14 Wisconsin, 3:00 p.m. CST, FOX
Wisconsin Badgers
S&P+ rank: Overall 13th, Offense 18th, Defense 8th, Special Teams 100th
Last week’s results: (W) at Nebraska, 37-21
Biggest strength: Jonathan Taylor looks like a tiny person in this picture! Our offensive line is big and thiccc.
Safe to say we all feel pretty lucky to get to block for this guy. Congrats on the record bro!! @JayT23 pic.twitter.com/Aw8I9Nx5NL
— David Moorman (@DMoorman68) November 16, 2019
Coach Dad! With the zinger!
Asked #Badgers coach Paul Chryst if Baun was spying Martinez on that big stop. Said he wasn’t sure and to ask Leonhard. I said we don’t get him until Tuesday. He joked: Then write whatever the hell you want.
— Jeff Potrykus (@jaypo1961) November 16, 2019
Taylor looked amazing. Aron Cruickshank returned a kick for a touchdown which was amazing. A.J. Taylor looked good. Reggie Pearson had 10 tackles. Zack Baun had two sacks. There were a lot of good individual performances...and the team won...but there was just something kind of “off” about this game. Maybe I’m just being a nitpicky asshole? Probably that.
Biggest weakness: Not playing Nebraska every week.
The last 20 years of Wisconsin and Nebraska football, in one play: pic.twitter.com/PqEoCTqE6i
— Steve Greenberg (@SLGreenberg) November 16, 2019
Wait...does this mean that Wisconsin has never been a serious playoff contender?
Seeing playoff contenders’ hopes effectively come to an end at Kinnick every year and then realizing Wisconsin hasn’t lost there since 2008 is wild.
— Curt Hogg (@CyrtHogg) November 17, 2019
Nebraska was better on third down (but 0-for-3 on fourth down which was huge), had more total yards, more passing yards, averaged more yards per rush and had fewer penalties. There is a whole lot to work on before the Purdue game, which is fun because it will keep everyone engaged!
This week’s opponent: Saturday vs. Purdue, 3:00 p.m. CST, FOX