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The Three Predictions: New Mexico vs. Wisconsin

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The most accurate predictions in the game return for Week 2.

NCAA Football: New Mexico at Colorado State
Tyrone Owens is a skilled runner who will get all opportunity to impress.
The Coloradoan-USA TODAY Sports

After a comfortable but not dominant Week 1 win over Western Kentucky, your old pal Andrew “Drew” Rosin is back to tell you what is going to happen when the Lobos come up from New Mexico to take on Wisconsin. Once again, these projections are 100 percent guaranteed to hit. Take this to the bank. I’m not funny, so I cannot joke.

Likely Case: As last week was a fair jump-off point for the inexperienced secondary, the Lobos will give a good test to the Badgers’ front seven. They will run the classic spread-option scheme and between Tevaka Tuioti and Tyrone Owens, they do have a backfield that can add yards in chunks. The Badgers need to play with discipline and sure tackling if they’re going to force Tuioti, who completed 48 percent of his pass attempts last year with four touchdowns against six interceptions, into passing situations. It’s plausible he gets a chunk play through the air, but with veteran receiver Q’ Drennan not going for the Lobos and the fact that Tuioti’s 327 yards and four scores last weekend came against an FCS team that went 1–10 last year, you can feel confident in the Badgers defensively.

But as defensive performances go? You will have an opportunity for Wisconsin to have that inexorable run of dominance. I mean, Incarnate Word averaged over eight yards per play in the first half against New Mexico. Take away a 90-yard touchdown run, and the Lobos gave up 7.02 yards per play when it was still reasonable that the game was in doubt to a bad FCS team. If the Badgers are ready, they will find green grass and opportunity, and pull away for a cruising win.

Best Case: It’s a very nice day for Wisconsin. The offense just keeps going and going. Alex Hornibrook throws for three scores. Jonathan Taylor scores three. There’s a pick for six and two touchdowns for the back-ups. Add in two Rafael Gaglianone field goals and it’s a spectacular day for the memes as the Badgers put up the most famous Online number upon the Lobos.

Worst Case: You find yourself sitting next to a stranger. In between possessions, the conversation turns to television, and famous shows set in New Mexico. Unfortunately, you admit you haven’t seen Breaking Bad or Better Call Saul. And your neighbor CANNOT BELIEVE IT. I mean, it’s only the greatest show of all time. Walter White is just the COOLEST. If it wasn’t for his stupid wife, he’d still be alive.

The Badgers score a touchdown, but your neighbor wants you to spell “Ehermantraut.” The Badgers recover a fumble, but your neighbor’s laughing a little too loudly about an ATM crushing a Meth Addict’s head. The Badgers get to the fifth quarter with a win, and your neighbor is absolutely aghast that Michael McKean wasn’t nominated for an Emmy for his performance last season.

The lesson? Never talk to strangers. Especially about prestige TV. Going that way only lies peril.