This Week in Badgers Takes

They’re baaaaaaaack...

After a few weeks of peaceful slumber, Wisconsin’s not-especially-close loss to Northwestern and subsequent fall from the polls have the football takes rising like zombies from the grave, just in time for All Hallow’s Eve.

Here are this week’s takes. Read on, if you dare...

Jon B at B5Q talks of Exorcising the Ghosts of Evanston (circa 2016)

• Heat Index: A bone-chilling breeze through the graveyard.
• Assessment: This one is corpse-cold, having been written in 2016, the last time Wisconsin was staring down a trip to Evanston. That said, it is spot on—Ryan Field is absolutely built on a badger burial ground.

Jesse Temple at The Athletic wonders WTH

• Heat Index: Is it ... Saaaaaaatan??
• Assessment: We are all wondering the same thing, Jesse. We are all wondering the same thing.

Sports Illustrated calls Wisconsin “O-Line U”

• Heat Index: An unexpected October trip to some beautiful, warm, sandy beach.
• Assessment: Oh, it’s actually a nice one. A take that doesn’t involve firing Paul Chryst and angry mobs with torches chasing Alex Hornibrook and howling and gnashing teeth. Hmmm ... this must be where we get lulled into a false sense of security...

David Hookstead at The Smoke Room calls for widespread panic.

• Heat Index: Hot-blooded screaming.

• Assessment: And we’re back. Seems a bit premature to panic pre-Rutgers. Now, post-Rutgers? That may be cause for alarm.

Barstool Wisco thinks Wisconsin is just bad.

• Heat Index:

• Assessment: Hot take born of the frustrating crucible of Evanston. Heretical, born of ignorance and fear, like the Salem Witch Trials.

Arthur Goldberg destroys us all.

• Heat Index: Carrie, when prom’s over.

• Assessment: I agree 100 percent. When Gozer the Gozerian asks me to choose the form of the destroyer, I choose Arthur Goldberg.

Happy Halloween, y’all.