I'm not going to call for someone to lose his/her job, because let's be honest: that's not a nice thing. And I'm a nice guy. I'm the Inspirational Andrew Rosin. I'm the guy who will find that gift box full of manure and look around because, clearly, someone got me a horse.
That said, there's an FCS school that would love to have such a veteran be its head coach and some puckish outlaw program would likely find itself in need of a defensive coordinator. I mean, Steve Spurrier could use someone that could stop an offense, and no one stops an offense quite like Wisconsin Badgers offensive coordinator Andy Ludwig.
So, in the interest of continuity, and with an eye toward people who share my name -- but not my nickname -- I look toward better days of offensive football.
1. Andy Richman
Now, I know what you're thinking: Is this the Man v. Food guy? First of all, no. Second of all, he's actually one of the better offensive line coaches at the lower levels who, on being good at his job, was promoted to being offensive coordinator at one of the country's best Division II schools, Valdosta State. Richman runs an offense like the Badgers could do well in instituting: multiple backs running the ball, a mobile quarterback getting 8-to-15 carries and a passing game designed so said quarterback can complete over 70 percent of his passes against power D-II schools like Delta State and North Alabama. The Georgia ties go without saying, and did we mention Richman was at Wisconsin during the start of the Rose Bowl run?
2. Andy Follett
You thought this was going to be a complete joke of a piece? That it was going to be all Andy North and Andy Reid and dead people? No. There are actually quite a few football coaches with the requisite positional experience and lower-level chops that if the Badgers hired him, they would get more Andy-based offensive success. Meet the Alabama State receivers coach. He was on the staff for Missouri State's best offensive season and had a strong year coordinating for Millsaps College in Tennessee. Throw in a tremendous mustache on page 32 of the 2013 Alabama State media guide, and you've got yourself a coach that inspires confidence.
3. Andy Kotelnicki
You know who's running UW-Whitewater's offense? An Andy. You know who's got an offense that's got over 50 points a game? An Andy. You know who's got an offense averaging 6 yards a rush despite the fact that everyone and their mother knows what's likely to happen in the second half? An Andy. You know who's offense has over 9 yards a pass because that's not really what they want to do? An Andy.
Not all Andys fail upwards. Not all Andys design schemes tailor-made for opposing defenses. If you just want a better in-state Andy? This is your huckleberry ... Andy.
4. Andy Padron
We're staying at Division III with this one. Padron is the offensive coordinator and quarterbacks coach for the Texas Lutheran Bulldogs who has spent time in his career as an official private quarterback tutor. To be honest, the TLU Bulldogs have a really good offense. Trenton White is averaging 245 yards per game through the air and Marquis Barrolle is already at 945 yards rushing on the year. And if you can do this with a quarterback that's 5'9 and a running back that's 5'4 (not joking). It's not hard to extrapolate what he could do with Division-I talent -- at least not right now, anyway.
5. Andy Olson
When you're talking the Arena Football League, you're talking a coach that knows offense. And as we all know, that offensive success is easily translatable. Remember Kurt Warner? OK. All seriousness, though, if you're an Arena Football head coach who was promoted from offensive coordinator, the goal is to get the ball to dudes in space.
The coach of the Spokane Shock can do that pretty well. Would there be some question that the running game would suffer because Arenaball? Yes, but this is why he's No. 5 on this list. Olson got a lot out of a mobile quarterback like Erik Meyer, and if this is the way the Badgers' offense is going, Olson would let a D.J. Gillins flourish.
ICYMI> Erik Meyer has what is apparently known as a cat's tail for a beard (h/t @edsbs) pic.twitter.com/kyoJWHzw0Q— CJ Fogler (@cjzero) July 22, 2014
Surprisingly, there are a lot of good coaches named Andy. I mean, I didn't even have to pull an Andy Baggot out of my hat to get to five. But the premise remains clear: Andy Ludwig is a coach who keeps landing and failing one level above his competency. Another team is going to hire him. Maybe Cal; it could use a guy who knows how to screw up a team's offense.