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Yeah, we're buzzfeeding a little. But it's fall camp. The inspiration for everyone to make hyperbolic statements that everyone's going to forget about in two months. And since I am someone for which breathless hyperbole is both fun and fantastic, I thought I would share my five hyperbolic predictions for the Badgers' 2013 season.
Because guess what? Dreams are great.
1. If he doesn't start, Tanner McEvoy's going to be responsible for 10 Badger touchdowns.
Gary Andersen's a creative sort. Between subpackages, the expectations that the Badgers are going to have a couple of non-conference rest periods to start the season and the fact that McEvoy has some tremendous athleticism that's going to make some plays happen? He's going to throw, run and heck even catch a touchdown on his way to getting 10 scores.
2. Melvin Gordon and James White will each rush for over a thousand yards, but Corey Clement will lead the team in rushing touchdowns on much fewer carries.
In the shadows of Montee Ball, White's kind of been an afterthought. But all he does is run well. Gordon is potentially the most physically talented running back in the modern Badger era. They'll get theirs. Home runs will be hit.
But on 3rd-and-goal from the two when it's big-on-big and they need someone who can pile-drive? These aren't exactly where Gordon and White are vikings. Enter Clement for change-of-pace purposes. He's going to get a touchdown for every six carries he gets.
3. Jared Abbrederis will be a Biletnikoff Finalist.
Why? it's simple. I believe in Robert Wheelwright being consistently interesting enough so you can't just heptuple cover Abbrederis and Jacob Pedersen doesn't have to do something he couldn't last year. I don't think all the single-season school records are going to be broken. But Abby's going to threaten a 70-1,300 season and get double-digit catching touchdowns.
4. The Badgers will have some struggles covering the pass, but that won't matter.
The Badgers are going to be in the middle of the pack regarding pass yardage allowed. But the one thing they've been lacking for the better part of the last five years returns in spades, what's that? Big defensive plays. All the youth that's going to see the field in the secondary is athletic, rangy and has the hands that the graduating class just didn't. At their best, the Badgers have only been good for a little over 25 turnovers in recent seasons. This year, They'll get 35.
And as sacks go? The Badgers are switching over to a more attacking defense. The Badgers have usually been around 25 to 30 sacks per season during the previous regime. You'll see an attacking talent like Vince Biegel be unleashed. And Chris Borland could very easily get a career high in sacks as a senior. Could one person break into the double-digits? Yes. Could two? Maybe. 40 sacks? Definitely.
5. The Badgers are running the table.
THE BADGERS ARE RUNNING THE TABLE. THEY ARE TRAVELING TO COLUMBUS AND TEMPE AND GETTING OUT UNSCATHED. THEY ARE BEATING MICHIGAN IN THE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME. 14-0 BABY. IT'S HAPPENING.
But don't book your tickets to the championship game. Arizona State wins the Southern Division in the Pac-12. It gets ugly as they get buzzbombed by Oregon. The Badgers are forced out of the championship game and back to the Rose Bowl for a then-12-1 SEC Team.
It's the final insult for the BCS. But hey, four straight Rose Bowls, and they won one!
Right?