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The Badgers and The Dark Night of the Soul

The Badgers have had a season with the twists and turns of a movie, but the question is, can they salvage a happy ending?

In the movies, we would be spelling redemption D-a-n-n-y.
In the movies, we would be spelling redemption D-a-n-n-y.
Jeff Hanisch-US PRESSWIRE

If you follow me on twitter, you know that outside of my caps locked missives, I am trying to be a professional writer. And while some of my missives are things that you could have considered to be unprofessional, another of the many things I know is Aristotelian three-act structure. And if this was a movie, the story's yet to be completed.

But it's definitely got a cinematic start, to wit...

You have a good college football team that gets a hotshot recruited transfer to play for them, and for the most part, the first game was a success. I mean, the Badgers played very well for three quarters. Then all of the sudden, everything was knocked off of it's axis, and Oregon State swagger jacked us. Mike Markuson was fired, and by the second half of the Utah State game, Joel Stave was in. Things were unsteady for a while, and really unsteady for a bit.

Looking at you, guys who said Bielema should be fired after the Nebraska game.

Then suddenly, it clicked, Kyle Costigan got the offensive line working and Montee Ball was back and healthy. Badger football was fun! Joel Stave was an American Hero, and Jared Abbrederis was hotter than a ghost chili pepper. Illinois, Purdue, and Minnesota? Those are the first parts of Act 2.

But Ricky Wagner got hurt. And like any good villain, Michigan State closed in. No need to go into the result of the game. But with Stave gone, there's now a pervasive sense of all being lost for this season. We are at the end of act two.

Obviously, this isn't a movie, Nathan Fillion isn't our brotastic head coach, and one of those CW Actors isn't Joel Stave. But like Abed from Community, one can divine the future of televised sporting events from looking through the past.

And while we're on the edge of disaster, suddenly Indiana has a chance to come in and be the sniveling secondary villain and pick from the carcass that the broken Badgers currently represent. But you know how that usually works. The villain goes into a boring speech, the hero improvises a way out, and all of the sudden? Boom. We've got us a win over Indiana, as we footbally manage to stab them with a chair leg.

Then it's time to storm the castle. Ohio State, likely still unbeaten, likely in the top 5 in the only poll that will have them, comes to Madison for a night game. Strange and wonderful things happen when the Buckeyes have to come to Madison. Schabert to Evans, 31-19. Heck, Terrelle Pryor even had a comeback of note against the Badgers in the disaster in 2008. This is not where the season ends with disaster.

Penn State would be a loss though. There has to be a twist to the redemption of the heroes. And in a no stakes game between the Badgers and the Nittany Lions, Bill O'Brien gets revenge for a few no holds barred beatdowns over the past couple of seasons. It happens, the Badgers are 8-4. Going to the B1G Title game.

Then? Nebraska. The team that not for a confluence of small problems, we would have beaten in Lincoln. They've got their mean on. They'll be rolling. No one will think that the Badgers can win. In fact, they're down 21-3 at halftime. But then there's a rousing halftime speech, the Badgers come out with a new vigor and determination. And they get their own furious rally behind the arm of Danny O'Brien to win the Big Ten, and add another trip to the Rose Bowl to the program.

There's the movie of the Badgers season. Complete with requisite happy ending, And if you're wondering what happens to the Badgers in the Rose Bowl?

Can I interest you in a discussion of a character getting a bridge dropped on them?

Because Oregon wins. It gets kind of boring. Ruins the analogy.