The Axe Falls Silent

Minnesota hates us.

Minnesota hates us, and I have absolutely no problem with that. Throw on the hate week, call Bret Bielema a fratty redneck douche, and let the vitriol flow like wine. You deserve it. You're stuck playing both your rivalry games in October. There's a state of rage that needs to be channeled.

But interestingly enough, while they're in a mood where they'll type nothing but HATE for a consecutive sequence of 60 words regarding us, we're slacking off on the hate. Sure, we're gonna throw up a post tomorrow and we're gonna throw some back at them. But otherwise, we're a fanbase that's been mostly agog over the return of Montee Ball to states previously known and quiet in regards to Gopher hate.

And as I like to consider myself a man of science, I have to wonder why exactly this is. We're Packer fans, and we can always get up for the Vikings. Even when they were terrible last year -- and they were terrible -- we had pride in the fact that we pummeled them.

The way I figure it? There are a few reasons as to why.

1) Minnesota hasn't upset the Badgers since 1994.

That's a full generation of fans that haven't seen the dastardly Gophers shock the Badgers' hopes and dreams into submission with an inferior team. In fact, about the only good thing from the Jim Wacker era in Minnesota was the fact that he beat Barry Alvarez twice. Well, there's two things. I mean, the Jim Wacker era is just a fun thing to say. It sounds all euphemistic.

2) The Badgers have owned this series for decades now.

I mean, since 1990, the Badgers have gone 17-5 in the series. And this has been one where the series has tipped downhill toward the Badgers. Eight straight wins since 2004, and boy howdy have the Gophers been pummeled in the last two. Fun as all heck. But when you can stop throwing the records out when two teams play, the energy starts to seep out of a rivalry.

3) The last two signature moments have been spectacular. And both belong to Bucky.

I mean, the last thing the Gophers could really chirp about before the Badgers' offense struggled to start this year was Freshman Sensation Laurence Maroney. (Yes, NFL fans, that really was a thing). But that being said? We have taken back the rivalry like a vigilante's taken back the night. And I'm thrilled.

But this is the sort of thing that can engender a little brother mentality from a fan. And this is wrong. Part of the fun of sports is hating things. College Minnesota deserves the same amount of hate as professional Minnesota.

So in conclusion? All you Ski-U-Mah's can go right to hell.