It’s the third week of September, which means I’m stressed out. I have to predict 11 football games and I still have no flipping clue if these teams are good or not.
This happens every year — and this year is no different. BYU beat Oklahoma and now they face Florida State at home, which looked good against Miami. Who knows how good the Seminoles actually are?
And Jerry Seinfeld keeps popping up in my head saying, "What is with these Michigan Wolverines and this guy they call Rich Rod? They lose nine games and then they win two games, but they beat this one team that’s not very good and this other team with the fat guy. Why can’t they just decide if they’re any good? And what’s the deal with $14 tuna sandwiches at airports?"
Then there’s Ohio State which followed up a sluggish performance against Navy with what appeared to be a statement win against USC. But then Kanye West showed up and interrupted the game and said, "Yo Terrelle Pryor, I’m really happy for you and I’m gonna let you finish, but there’s this other young quarterback named Matt Barkley who is one of the best quarterbacks of all time! One of the best of all time!" And Barkley led a 87-yard drive down the field to the win the game.
So will the real college football teams please stand up? At the very least, it will help me predict these games:
Notre Dame 35, Michigan State 24
I’ve been saying since July that the Spartans are overrated. I don’t care how many returning interior players you have, you don’t lose Javon Ringer and Brian Hoyer and become a better team. It’s just not possible.
Michigan 38, Eastern Michigan 13
The Wolverines offense looks legit and Eastern isn’t very good. That’s right Northwestern fans, Eastern sucks.
California 27, Minnesota 21
An underrated game but an overrated team in Minnesota. I expected more out of this Gopher offense and I think it will run out of possessions trying to keep up with Cal’s scoring ability, which will be slowed down a little bit on the road.
Penn State 51, Temple 3
Good vs. bad.
Wisconsin 41, Wofford 10
Semi-good vs. really bad. Actually Wofford can compete, but they are without their best player, RB Eric Breitenstein.
Ohio State 33, Toledo 13
Don’t buy into what the Rockets did to Colorado. The Buffaloes are one of the worst FBS programs out there right now. OSU will bounce back with an easy win.
Akron 31, Indiana 24
I’m picking IU to lose the rest of their games. No, seriously.
UPDATE! (12:11 AM, 9/19/09): Akron's star QB Chris Jacquemain was suspended Friday and will not play. Matt Rodgers starts in his place. This is worth at least a touchdown and I am officially changing my pick to Indiana 24, Akron 23.
Iowa 23, Arizona 17
This should be a great football game at Kinnick Stadium, but I’m sticking with the home team. I think the Hawkeyes woke up last week in Ames, Iowa and will keep it up
Northwestern 31, Syracuse 24
This is an interesting game because of the way Syracuse played Minnesota at home in Week 1 and the way NU struggled against Eastern Michigan last week. The Wildcats are still the better team and I think they step it up for the win.
Upset Special: Northern Illinois 34, Purdue 31
I circled this one in August and I’m going to stick with it even though Purdue competed at Oregon last week. Northern played well up in Madison and the Boilermakers still have a ton of problems. The Huskies pull off a much-needed confidence booster in West Lafayette, Ind.
2009 record: 17-5