I'm a little scared of the game this week.
There. I said it. The big new redesign isn't why I've been quiet. The off double shift on the day job isn't why I've been quiet. Heck, the dark nights of Wisconsin's sports soul haven't been why I've been blocked. I just have to lay it all out there. The guy who defends as well as affirms the douche bro nature of Bielema has a touch of the impending dooms.
But if this is going to be an entirely too self-confessional post, I need be absolutely honest. Lay it all out there why my humor's gone all Black Bile.
1) The Defensive Ends
David Gilbert's looking likely to play. And that's going to be absolutely huge. But on the other side? Brendan Kelly's looking to be out yet another week. And so too is Patrick Muldoon. I'm one of those people who thinks an 11-win season for Utah State's not exactly impossible. But Nebraska's offense is a physical step up. And when you have a mobile quarterback going up against defensive ends that are inexperienced? It's a match-up that's strongly in favor of the other guys.
I mean, especially when you make a true statement that can easily be construed as locker room motivation. I'm looking at you, David Gilbert. Bo Pelini's a football coach. A head football coach. Why do you feel a need to make him angry?
2) The Revenge Factor
A part of the reason why the bulletin board isn't exactly a good place to be this week is because the fact that last year, the Badgers were in such good shape that the jumping in the jump around video turned up on YouTube from at least four different angles. Well, the thing about all that? The other team's gonna be in a bit of a sour food when paths next cross.
I absolutely believe our offense has turned a corner from the bad neighborhood it's been in. But the thing of it is, the Badgers still don't have that second receiver. Jared Abbrederis is a beast and a butcher of secondaries. But if Nebraska gets to two touchdowns, it may absolutely roll downhill. I'm not gonna complain if the score gets run up. How it goes sometimes.
But it might get run up.
3) Memes! The Silent Killer!
Your parents are now about to come around to hearing about Gangnam Style. It is the "What, What in the Butt" of today. And there have been parodies of it. Because anything popular gets piggybacked upon and degenerated. And it's become a meme.
In and of itself? Not something to worry about. Let them have their fun. This film above shows the dangers of memeing. We're not, I know this is a text based and you can't see this. But I'm holding my hand up to my ear like a 60's newsman.
We could have left well enough alone. Teams with music videos inevitably disappoint unless they can inexplicably get a name like Tech N9ne. But we didn't. Nebraska did.
Until David Yang dropped this into our laps.
I hope you're happy, David. You've doomed us all.