MONTEE BALL NEEDS TO GET BACK TO HIS ROOTS.
(As a fan, we're all of two minds. You have the irrationally exuberant SUPERFAN who will WHOO at a MOMENTS NOTICE. And you have the coldly logical fan. The fan who knows what the team really is instead of what it hopes to be. It's a classic conflict. Id versus ego. The Joker versus the Batman. Andy Kaufman versus Jerry Lawler. Today, in what could very well be a part one of a one part series, I talk to myself about the Badgers.)
It's time to forget what Phil Steele told you. His magazine didn't happen. We weren't a top 15 team.
(BUT WE'RE A TOP 15 TEAM.)
Until the offensive line jells, every win's a gift.
(IT'S GONNA JELL.)
It may. But then again. It may not.
(WE FIRED MIKE MARKUSON. WE'RE GOING OLD SCHOOL BABY! OLD SCHOOL!)
For a graduate assistant. Whose last job was with the Chicago Blackhawks.
(HE KNOWS HOW TO RUN A NEUTRAL ZONE TRAP.)
You know hockey terms, good for you!
(YOUR FACE KNOWS HOCKEY TERMS. AND YOU KNOW HOW WE'RE GOING TO GET THIS DONE. WE ARE GOING TO CHANGE MONTAY BALL'S NAME. MONTEE BALL WAS GREAT! )
Cripes, I must be killing people on twitter with this textual yelling.
(THEY LOVE ME.)
Long overdue. RT @thegnc: I'm finally going to bring in caps lock to Bucky's 5th quarter. I may even do next level CAPS LOCK!— Miller Park Drunk (@millerparkdrunk) September 11, 2012
Is this a nervous breakdown? Whatever, whatever, whatever, never mind. You seem to forget we hadn't managed to put together our starting five on the line until the end of August. Does a Top 15 team do that?
No, no, no, answer the question.
(NO. NO THEY DON'T.)
I mean, really. These expectations. They have to be gone. They never were. We're moving forward. Every win is a gift. If we win by 1, 2, or 73. No more of this we didn't win by enough crap. Because guess what, we lost a lot of experience. We might be this year's UCLA.
(DUDE. YOU DON'T SAY THAT.)
Why? Utah State took down Utah and has been pretty scrappy in non-conference games. We've got a road game against Nebraska, and with Ohio State and ...
(OH. COME. ON.)
... I was going to say that Nathan Scheelhaase is going to be healthy. An October game against that front seven's not a gimme. Please, Sparty's going 3-9. We may have to consider the possibility of a very slow start with a strong finish.
(WE'RE STILL RANKED. ONE POLL, MAYBE. BUT WE'RE STILL RANKED.)
I'm just saying. This isn't last year's offense. This is a young offense. A young offense in a tumultuous situation. There were no expectations of a juggernaut. Move forward.
(THAT MATT DILLION IS ONE MIGHTY FINE ACTOR!)
That's Jon Hamm.
(YEP. WE'RE WATCHING WE WERE SOLDIERS AGAIN. THEN YOU'LL GET ME.)