Breaking Badgers

Joel Stave is Totally Kafkaesque. - Jeff Hanisch-US PRESSWIRE

The Badgers aren't in danger. They are the Danger.

If you're on the internet, you know the top notch quality of a Breaking Bad. And if you're on the internet, you know the fun and whimsy of a Pop Culture comparison post. It's a good way to provide content when you're blocked for another angle.

*Looks both ways*

But as we're in a world that's a little more hopeful than the world of Breaking Bad, we can have fun with comparing the Badgers to Vince Gilligan's version of a Cormac McCarthy world. Though there is one rule. No minor characters, so the Badgers aren't going to have someone compared to Badger. (Though I have to say Bart Houston is the Jesse to who I decide Jesse Pinkman is.) See if you can guess what comparison inspired me to pull that off.

P.S. There will be spoilers.

Montee Ball is Walter White
Are you telling me that just because Montee Ball had a slow start this season, he doesn't get to be the one with all the quotable meme-worthy lines? He's going to run for over 20 touchdowns. He's going to rush for over 1500 yards. He is the one who knocks. He is in the empire-building business. And at one point, Walter was on the run and just fighting to stay alive.

Joel Stave is Jesse Pinkman
He seems a little naive, but there's also a lot of hidden depth to the character. Stave may not punctuate every sentence with Bitch, but there's a lot of untapped potential in his game. And like Jesse is the foil to Walt, the passing game is the foil to the run game. Deep balls, yo. Deep balls.

The secondary is Skyler White
I'm going a little meta with this one. Skyler White is one of the least popular characters on TV, because she's the antagonist who can stop Walter from having his fun. And the Badgers? The big thing that's stopped them from having their fun in the past few years? Skyler White. (Though Devin Smith is the personification of Anna Gunn's acting talent. Because she can act.)

Bret Bielema is Hank Schrader
You initially look at Hank and you see someone that's little more than an obnoxious loudmouth. You don't see that at his depth he's actually good at doing his job, and he's good at finding a way to survive the crisis points and do well in the general day to day, despite the mistakes he's made. He will have a bathroom revelation. And boom -- Barge formation.

Urban Meyer is Gus Fring
He's the largest villain in the Big Ten. He's got a dangerous offense. And he has a quarterback, that if our sister Ohio State blog dared do a post of this ilk, they would have to call him their own Mike Ehermantraut. I mean, Braxton Miller's got some Batman skills to him. But, even if there's a disastrous moment (Ohio State coming to Madison for a night game?), it's as much of a trap as Gustavo going to the Hospital to visit Hector Salamanca.

Melvin Gordon is Walter White Jr.
Like RJ Mitte and his breakfast foods, Melvin Gordon currently has one job for the Badgers. He does it very well. He is the one who jet sweeps. There's definitely a chance he becomes more important as his arc goes, but right now, he is the Buck of the classic Wing-T action that helped.

Kyle Costigan is Saul Goodman
Truth be told, I'm a huge Bob Odenkirk fan. 90's sketch comedy for the win. So when he emerged in the cast as delightfully slimy criminal laywer Saul Goodman, this show went from good to great. So too Costigan. Though the Badgers offense couldn't be described as good when he wasn't in the starting line-up. When he saw the field? This offense started to coalesce into the freight train you see before you.

Jared Abbrederis is Mike Ehermantraut
You notice just how much the Badgers struggled while Abbrederis was injured. They literally could not pass the ball without him. Now granted, the Badgers didn't decide to shoot him and then try to apologize. But right now, he's a major reason why the operation's suddenly solid. And if he disappears? There's going to be a downfall.

(I mean, we assume Season 5-2 of Breaking Bad's going to go badly, right?)

Matt Canada is Marie Schrader
I know, seems kind of sleazy to compare Kleptomania to a struggling offense, but here we are. I wouldn't put Cub Foods on notice by any stretch. But the fact of the matter is, like Season 4, there was major issues within the marriage between Canada and Bielema to start the year. Luckily, they got through it. Luckily, we did too.

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